But I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to think. I was lost. So lost. The logical path forward had been erased by my stupidity. Now, no matter what I did, I was making the wrong decision.
Did I tell Abram the truth? How could I? Even if I was convinced he wouldn’t hate me, that what was happening between us was real, Gabby believed he would tell our parents the truth.
Did I leave now, like Gabby wanted? I would never see him again. But this was not a shock. I’d been preparing for this all week.
So why does it feel like the end of the world?
“Mona.” Lisa had claimed her seat on the bed again and only hesitated for a second before grabbing my hands and cradling them; her fingers were freezing. “It’s clear you’ve been through a lot this week.”
I huffed a bitter laugh, abruptly angry with myself. “I’ve been through a lot? Lisa, you’ve been in jail.”
“Yes. But that was my fault.”
“That wasn’t your fault.” I gripped her hands tighter, willing them to be warmer. “That was Tyler.”
“I chose Tyler. I lied about being with him. That was my decision. This, none of this, is your fault. And you—” She took a deep breath, her eyes dropping to our hands, like she couldn’t look at me and say this next part. “You need to do what you think is right. But you also need to know that, no matter what, I won’t be mad. You are my sister and I love you. I can’t lose you again, and . . . I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
This last part she said brokenly, tears finally falling. My imperturbable sister was crying. And not just quiet weeping. Massive, body-wracking sobs. My heart bled for her, for she was the other part of myself.
Pulling Lisa into my arms, I held her. I rocked her. I told her how much I loved her. I pet her hair and promised to always take care of her, because the path had revealed itself and I knew the answer.
I knew what I had to do.
*Abram*
Reaching for Lisa, my hand encountered only a cold, vacant couch. I’d hoped to find her next to me, to curl myself around her. But she wasn’t there.
Opening my eyes, blinking at the darkness, I listened for a sign of her presence. A ballooning disappointment deflated hope. When it was clear she wasn’t anywhere close, I flexed my jaw, stood from the sofa, and stretched while yawning. Discontented. Frustrated. She was gone, she’d taken her sweet softness, and—
Gone, and she took all softness with her.
Gone, and emptiness takes shape.
Gone, and summer is winter.
Gone, and… And?
Cassette tape? Fate? Concord grape?