Then we hear Henry shhhhhhh’s us eyes still shut. He’s been pretending to be asleep so he didn’t get involved. Clever boy. He learned all that from me, I’m the clever one, and I do like crime drama.
“He’s a good chap Tharie.” Henry manages, heaving himself more upright, hard to do with all the bloody pillows that Mum has stuffed behind him. “Loves Halo3 too, whipped my arse last night!” Henry, wakes up and smiles a lovely smile, and for a minute, having my family all round me, I am happy and satisfied. Daniel has been here, with them, and I love him for that. What? Hadn't I decided against that? Confused.
“Talk to him Catharine, that’s what words are for.” my Mum is right.
“OK Eve Charles, I’ll try.” I tell her, kissing them goodbye, “I’ll give it a try.”
“I could write you a song to help?” He thinks he's funnier than me? Clearly he doesn't recall my lobster joke, silly boy.
An outburst from Mum, “Henry!” That shuts him up immediately. And for me: “you do that.” She has to have the last word.
“I will.” but then so do I. I wink at Henry, and leave them chatting to the nurse Helen, which later my Mother will tell everyone was very good at her job, a very sweet girl from Braintree. And Henry will tell everyone was super sexy in her semi-transparent white dress, and afterward about the lovely date they had.
Bloody hell.
TC: “Daniel, thank you.” is all I say.
DP: “Welcome” straight back, nothing else.
TC: “I’m going into the office now” I type, not wanting to solicit a meeting but not wanting to sound cold either, after all, we did know each other, erm quite well didn't we?
DP: “Your family are great” gracious platitude, but true.
TC: “Yes, they are.” don’t know what to say.
Nothing.
DP: “See you then” ’I’m losing him.
TC: “Daniel, I miss you” that’ll do it, I regret it as soon as I hit send, but it’s true.
DP: “See you at the office Tharie” gone, using my name tells me I’ve lost him.
DP: “Tharie?” ’Hope?
TC: “Daniel?” Please, I beg my phone, please a little piece of the man, it’s all I need just a crumb.
....waiting
DP: “I like your haircut” that’s it? I sit down in the reception, the revolving door sending sporadic blasts of freezing cold air over me, I shudder. Pack my things and head to the office.
I need a strong cuppa right bloody now!
TC: “Newton, get the kettle on, I’m coming in”
Chapter forty-eight, Monday:18thnovember2013 – what now?
My heels re verb around the cavernous space that is the 'hall’, not sure what to expect when I get there so in a pensive mood I head to my studio upstairs. Heading my way with a huge smile on his face is Newton with a large steaming cup of tea for me, I am so grateful, small acts of kindness please everyone, especially if they're in a crap mood.
“Hope your brother is OK Tharie, Mike and I were at the gig, we are huge fans!” I manage a thanks between gulping longingly at my tea.
“Thank you Newton,” I tell him sincerely, “he’ll be fine, he only had to cancel the Apollo gig, the rest are fine.” Newton shakes his head and smiles, happy his hero is fine. I offer him one of my chocolate buttons.
“No thank you Tharie,” he pats his tummy, well what there is of it, “he tells me I’m putting on weight” and rolls his eyes. Sounds like he's been speaking to someone's Mum!
“Have you considered being vegetarian?” Recalling how he eats bacon sandwiches, two of them every day for breakfast. “Would help with the fat intake, not to mention cholesterol.”
“Can't,” he smiles, “I like eating sausage too much.” He winks at me. I asked for that didn't I? Bet you do, is all I can think of, so I simply smile.
My phone vibrates, it’s Daniel.
DP: “Stop talking, and come.” contact!
TC: “Don’t be so bossy” playful, yet true.
DP: “I am the boss.” true, he is.
TC: “Don't I know it?” playful, but tasteful I think.
DP: “Now please” nice. My insides flutter like hundreds of butterflies are in there. Hope I think that is, or wind.
TC: “Wait” too much?
DP: “Tharie” stern voice, nice.
Daniel appears in my doorway, he looks incredibly handsome, and makes me feel twice as bad. His shirt is open at the collar and his tie is loose, he wears slim black tux trousers to the ankle