that’s what we all think, what has happened to make him do this?” I shudder at the thoughts I’ve been having, blaming myself, my head rumbles with voices agreeing it’s all my fault too.
Someone is doing this to me deliberately. Someone is sending me photos. Why? To break us up? Again, why? Two people spring to mind, that’s where I start. The plan has been revised.
Motive, means and opportunity, that’s the ticket.
“What was he doing with her? He promised she was in the past, over, and then I see this.” Shaking my head I am instantly feeling stronger, the blood is pumping through my veins with renewed energy. I have been speaking the things that until now had just been thoughts, my dry sobs making my throat raw and sore, I just wanted to sleep, but now I'm awake. I want this thing fixed either way, once and for all time.
So that’s exactly what I do. What happened to the plan Tharie? I stop, am quiet, and all at once, I know exactly what I have to do to make myself feel better.
TC: “Meet me in twenty minutes for a drink?” Please say yes.
PF: “Babes, that sounds medicinal, you OK” she's very, very good.
TC: “I will be in twenty minutes” hope so anyway.
PF: “Then it must be so, where?” Phew!
TC: “Square Bar” the glasses are reassuringly heavy, I may need to throw one.
PF: “See you then, and good luck babes” very good indeed.
Leaving the black cab idling at the curb, I run into the foyer of the great glass building of the Buntonn Group. I look healthy after a good sleep and I have freshly washed hair from the salon, Gail has worked her magic on my locks and I feel great and alive. I am myself, with my favourite boots on and leather skinny black jeans, an old Ramones t-shirt and my RANDom denim jacket. I feel confident and I’m determined, and have my 'don’t get in my way expression' on. When the desk clerk asks me who I want to see. “Jess Stein please, tell her it's Tharie Charles.”
He makes a call, and speaks in low tones, several questions and answers obviously go back and forth and I get looked up and down, a lot. He whispers into the headset, nods and tells me she'll be a moment. Then I suddenly see her with a phone in her hand appearing from the lift into the foyer. Looking at me with a sly grin of someone who knows something I don’t. (Well, that would be everyone surely?)
Jess looks immaculate dressed in mulberry MiuMiu from head to toe, hair blow-dried cascading around her slim shoulders in a perfectly turned out way, and nails impeccably manicured, Dior's new shade of faux-black. A woman in complete control, this is her company, her building, but I’ve had a crap week and I’m not in the mood for prisoners. She finishes her call and folds her phone up delicately.
She smirks a welcoming smile and approaches hand out to shake my hand, “Tharie, how lovely to see you, here.” Her clipped well-educated voice resonates in my skull, it’s a harsh sound that has the beat of someone who reads off a script, with no imagination. Her little flesh coloured Prada sling-backs clack across the tiled floor as she approaches.
I am all smiles and warmth, worth an Oscar nomination for sure.
“Is there anything I can do for you, would you like to sit down dear you look a little pale?” She gestures to the sofas in reception, very polite, almost sympathetic. Nice voice, she wouldn't usually have anything to say, I’d be interested in hearing, but today was not a usual day. ‘Dear’? She’s only a couple of years older than me.
I still say nothing, adjust my smile, it's making my cheeks ache.
I follow her direction and sit. “Is this about Dan?” She asks sitting down in a perfectly ladylike way, knees together angled slightly diagonally, skirt swept tidily underneath so it doesn’t crease while she's sitting down. “Because there’s really nothing I can tell you.” She brushes a non-existent piece of fluff from her skirt, her eyes everywhere except mine.
I remain quiet.
“When I saw him last night,” she meets my gaze finally with her long lashes and perfectly sculpted brows, and smiles waiting for a response, but I don’t give her one, I remain totally impassive, stoic even, my plan? Let her talk she'll tell me everything I want to know, because that's human nature.