The Pass (Smart Jocks #5) - Rebecca Jenshak Page 0,31

someone, so I’ve never seen his game or lack thereof before.” His long fingers are still on my leg radiating heat through my skin to my core.

“What about you?” I ask, trying to ignore the way my body feels at his touch. “Do you hook up at the lake?”

His face tells me the answer even before he does. “Sometimes. It’s hard to take anything too seriously knowing I’m going back to Valley in a few weeks. It’s like a really long spring break. Nobody is looking for a relationship at the lake.”

I snort. “More lake rules by Tanner?”

“Something like that.” His gaze falls to his hand on my leg as if he’s suddenly realized he’s touching me, and he removes it to grab his beer on the table. “Don’t act like you haven’t had your summer flings. What about that guy you met in Japan?”

“It was Italy, and his name was Sebastian.”

He shrugs as if the place as well as the guy is inconsequential. He’s mostly right. Although I had hoped things with the cute volleyball player I met in Italy last summer while playing in the world championship volleyball tournament would go beyond the month we were in the same country, but it was just too hard with the distance.

“You ready? If we don’t get an Uber soon, then we’ll be sitting outside after closing.”

I nod my agreement and we say bye to everyone and get in our ride back to his place. He sits in the middle of the back seat so we’re side by side.

I’m staring at the lake at night and the dot of lights as we pass by when Tanner nudges me with his elbow. “You’re staring out that window awfully hard. What are you thinking about?”

I put my head on his shoulder. “I was thinking about what you said earlier. How you can’t picture something more with a fling or hookup you meet during the summer. The thing is, I think some people—mostly girls it seems—hope beyond reason that a summer fling will turn into more. I’ve rarely hooked up with anyone that I couldn’t see a future with. I just think it’s interesting. The girls you hooked up with were probably hoping you were going to fall for them and want more.”

“I am always honest about my intentions. I never promise a girl I’m going to call and then don’t.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t hope you’d change your mind.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen a future with any of the girls I’ve dated in the past two years. How sad is that?”

“Really? Why did you date them then?” I’d always wondered why Tanner had chosen the girls he did. From Amelia to the one before… I never found any real common thread to figure out what it was that made a guy like him settle down.

“I liked them, and I wanted to spend more time together. And with Amelia there were times when I could picture us together after college, but never like…” He pulls back and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me.”

He hesitates before saying, “The only person I’ve ever really been able to picture in my life forever is you.”

My heart hammers in my chest and blood pounds in my ears.

“When I see my life in five years or fifty—I see it with you.”

“With me as your best friend or…?”

The car pulls up at Tanner’s and we climb out. I walk numbly behind him. Neither of us speaks until we’re inside.

“Water?” he asks, grabbing two from the fridge.

I take one, kick off my shoes, and we go sit outside on the deck.

It’s late. The moon is high in the sky and the lake is quiet. Tanner sits and then pulls me onto his lap. We’ve sat like this a million times. We’ve always been comfortable in our affection. Still, this feels different.

I’m deciding whether or not I should push for an answer to my question from the car when he starts talking again.

“I’ve gone over it a million different times. Wondering what would happen if I kissed you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woke up with the most vivid sex dreams recreating that first night together.”

“And?” My voice wavers. I’m so nervous. I’m never nervous around Tanner.

“All I know is that I want everything to be exactly the same.”

My heart drops. I didn’t realize how much I was hoping he wanted more until now. Then his hand lifts my chin up and slides down so