“Tell her no,” Kacey whispered but he shook his head. He knew he needed to say it. To stay away from her. But the need for approval was still there.
He wanted her to love him.
To be proud of him.
To care about him.
“Is someone there?”
Kacey snapped her mouth shut and he nodded, his throat thick. “Yeah.”
“One of your many sluts, I’m sure. What did she say? I thought I heard her say no. Tell her I’m not another of your sluts, I’m your mother.”
Kacey’s mouth dropped and Jordie shook his head. “It’s my girlfriend.”
She paused. “Like a real girlfriend? You haven’t had one of those since what’s her name, the one whose boyfriend killed that kid you were friends with.”
“Angie, and his name was Robbie,” he said, looking up, a wave of guilt slamming into him.
“Yes, him. I saw his momma about two weeks ago. She still hates you.”
“Yeah, well, her son was killed acting in my defense. I wouldn’t care for me much either,” he said dryly and his mom made a noncommittal sound.
“Eh, yeah, I guess you’re right,” she said and he let out a breath as Kacey shook her head quickly, her anger radiating off her. “Oh, well, bring her too, I guess. If you think it will last, I guess I should meet her. I really don’t want to though. I’d like it to be just you, me, and Phil,” she said, and he didn’t miss the way she spoke louder.
“Fucking bitch,” Kacey muttered, standing up and folding her arms, looking down at him as he held the phone to his ear. He couldn’t look at her, not in the eyes. He knew she was mad, he knew she was probably disappointed in him, but he couldn’t just hang up.
“I don’t know, Mom. I’ll text you.”
“No, tell me now you’ll go,” she snapped, and he knew when he looked to Kacey, she’d be shaking her head no, so he looked at the floor.
“I told you, I don’t know. We will see,” he said as sternly as he could. “I have a lot going on,” he said slowly, hoping she’d ask what he had going on. But that would mean she was a good parent.
And she wasn’t. Not even a little bit.
“Well, cancel it. I’m your mother; you will be there to meet your new soon-to-be stepdad. I’ll send you the address and info as soon as I get it. Oh, Phil just walked in. Yeah, baby, it’s him. He says hi too! Okay, gotta run, bye, honey!”
And then she hung up.
No, “Can’t wait to see you!” No, “I love you!” No, “Fuck off.” No, nothing.
Closing his eyes, he let his head hang as he shook it. Why had he even answered the phone? He could feel Kacey’s hostility pouring off her, and when he looked up at her, her face was flushed and she was working her lip.
“Not right now, okay? I know she sucks, I know she’s a bitch, and I know I should have said no,” he said quickly, feeling like the weakest piece of shit in the world.
“You’re right, on all accounts,” she said before coming onto the bed and wrapping her body around his like a koala bear. “But I know it hurts.”
“It does,” he whispered, holding her arm as she held him. “I don’t want to go.”
“We won’t.”
“But she’ll find a way to me,” he said and she nodded.
“You need to tell her in person that she can’t do this to you anymore. That she needs to just stay away.”
“I know,” he said roughly. “But the shitty thing is, I still want to hear her tell me she loves me, that she’s proud of me, and that she cares. Not once did she ask about me.”
“Because she’s a poor excuse for a human, and if she hadn’t have had you, she would be on this earth for no reason,” Kacey proclaimed, hugging him tighter. “You are better than her, Jordie. So much fucking better. You’d never treat anyone like she does.”
He paused, closing his eyes as more guilt washed over him. “I did, though. I used to do it to you,” he said softly, looking over at her. “What if I am like her?”
Taking his face between her hands, she shook him hard. “No, Jordie! You are not fucking her! You get that out of your head right now. You hear me?” She was screaming, her eyes filling with tears. “No, no fucking way. You are good. You are the most