she’d repressed for the two days since she and Bart had talked came out again swinging.
“Who in their right mind ever convinces themselves they can do this?”
The blow came hard and fast, an uppercut to her heart.
Certainly not me.
* * *
KYNDAL LISTENED TO CHANCE’S deep breathing, taking comfort in the sound. There hadn’t been many times they’d actually awakened with each other after making love. Occasionally, he’d managed to convince his parents he was at a friend’s house when he’d really spent the night with her. With her mom gone so much, getting time alone wasn’t a problem. But spending an entire night together had been nearly impossible.
After Hank’s death, Chance’s parents kept him on a short leash. No other seniors had a midnight curfew, but Chance did. And, on the rare occasions when her mom was home, they had to make use of the car’s backseat or secluded beaches on Kentucky Lake.
Waking up naked next to him now would’ve been a dream fulfilled, but the coolness of the cave had forced them to put their clothes back on.
She tried to ignore the thirst and the excruciating pain in her head that kept her awake most of the night, the gnawing emptiness in her stomach…and the hollowness in her heart when she thought about leaving this place and going back to a life without Chance.
Nothing’s changed. Don’t even try to convince yourself this will last.
The truth, as taught by her mother, was that men came and went, moved in, moved out, but none ever stuck around for more than a couple of years. It was okay to love them, but the unwritten law said never to need them or depend on them.
Her mother had tried to warn her when she first started going out with Chance. “Don’t get wrapped up in that boy, baby,” Mom would say. “He lives in a different world than we do, and bad things happen when worlds collide.”
Then she would take off on one of her road trips, and to combat the loneliness, Kyndal would wrap herself even tighter around him, hoping desperately to prove her mother wrong.
Clinging.
She edged farther away, mentally and physically distancing herself from the man who lay beside her.
Chance stirred, reached out to her and scooted closer. “You awake?”
“Yeah.”
“How come? Your ankle hurting?”
She felt him push up on his elbow, his hand resting warm on her stomach. “A little. Not too bad.”
His hand slid under her shirt and stroked her bare skin. “I’m rested, and I think I promised you an all-nighter.” His breathing was soft on her face just before his lips closed down on hers.
Much as her body tried to convince her otherwise, her mind screamed that no good could come from making love to him again. It would be like jumping into an emotional abyss.
Logic backed her away from the edge. “I have a headache.”
He groaned then gave a low chuckle in her ear. “It’s the old I’ve-got-a-headache, is it?”
She nudged him with her elbow, eliciting another groan. “I really do have a headache. In fact, I’m sort of hurting all over.”
Chance sat up quickly. She heard the pump of the flashlight, and then the light blinded her. He pressed his thumb along the bottom ridge of her eye socket, and, when the light shifted, she read fear in his expression.
“What? What’s wrong?”
He swore under his breath. “You’re dehydrating, Kyn.”
“How do you know?”
“I had a malpractice suit against a nursing home where a patient died of dehydration. I had to learn all about it.” He located his socks and boots with a sweep of the light and rushed to put them on.
She tried to keep her tone light. “I’m not that old.”
“Symptoms are the same. Headache usually followed by muscle cramps. I’ve got to find you some water.”
Another day, or even another hour, alone with her thoughts would cause her to pull her hair out one at a time. “I’m going with you.” She jerked her abandoned sock free from a boot and donned it quickly.
“Kyn, I can search faster without you.” He brushed his knuckles down her cheek gently, but his firm tone said she would be a hindrance.
“I know I’m a pain in the ass, but I can’t sit alone in this crypt for one more nanosecond.” Through the shadows, she watched his mouth tighten, but she pressed on. “We’ll move to the next cavern. I’ll stay there, and you can explore that area. Then we’ll go on to the next, and the next if we