Opposites Attract - Jessica Prince Page 0,26
girls make me want to barf.”
“Wait… funnel cake and corndogs first thing in the morning?”
“Yeah. It was not a well thought out plan. That’s why Matt’s currently stuck in the bathroom, sitting on a toilet that’ll probably give him herpes, wishing he’d never been born.”
I pulled the phone away from my mouth long enough to release the laugh that desperately wanted to escape. “Well, have you tried telling him you’re not that kind of girl?
She was silent for several seconds. “No, and I’m not going to.”
“Why not?”
“Because guys want those types of girls, Del. They want the damsels in distress that’ll swoon over them and all that shit. I’ve never faked being one of those girls before and look at my track record. I’ve never had a relationship that lasted longer than a few months. I like this guy. He’s sweet and hot and smart. Do you have any idea how many guys out there are so fucking stupid I want to punch them in the face?”
I couldn’t hold in my laughter with that question. “No.”
“Just take my word for it, there’s a lot of them. I just want this one to last, you know? So if I have to suffer through Coney Island for a day, then I’ll pull up my big girl panties and tough it out.”
“By being something you’re not?” I asked, feeling more than just a little sad for my best friend.
“If it means getting to keep the guy who actually knows how to make a woman come, then yeah.”
“And I’m guessing there aren’t many of those out there.”
She laughed. “Oh, my sweet, naïve friend. You’ve only had sex with two men in your life. One was a total fucking fluke, and the other was Brant,” she said his name like it left a bad taste in her mouth. “Trust me, finding someone like Richard is as rare as stumbling upon an authentic Kate Spade handbag while rummaging through Goodwill bins. Anywho, enough about me. What were you calling all in a tizzy about?”
“A tizzy?” I giggled.
“It’s my word for the day. Now answer the question.”
I looked over the kitchen counter to where Shady lay on the living room rug. “I was going to see if you could watch Shady. I was supposed to have the day off, but Toni called in sick and there are arrangements that need to go out today.”
“Aw,” Devon cooed. “Is poor Sac-less still not feeling like his usual chipper self?”
I scowled even though she couldn’t see me. “Don’t call him that. He’s been through a traumatic experience.”
She snorted. “Yeah, because his Mommy’s a heartless bitch who chopped off his manhood.”
“You’re an asshole,” I laughed.
“I wish I could be there for the little guy, but seeing as Matt’s been locked in that stall for the past half hour, I don’t think I’ll be leaving here any time soon.”
With a heavy sigh, I glanced over at my little guy. He really did look miserable. “It’s okay. I didn’t want to take him to Flora with that cone still on, but I don’t have much of a choice, I don’t want to leave him by himself.”
I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, “You could always ask the hottie next door to doggy-sit.”
I was thankful that she couldn’t see me as I snorted at the same time my cheeks burned red at the mere mention of Richard. I hadn’t told Devon about what I overheard the other night while inadvertently invading Richard’s privacy… mainly because she’d never let me live it down. It had been two days and I was doing everything in my power to avoid any and all contact with him in the hallways or lobby, ashamed for being such a perv.
I even went as far as to bolt for the stairwell when I saw him waiting for the elevator yesterday evening. I made the conscious decision to do cardio rather than live through a thirty second elevator ride with the man I couldn’t help but picture naked on a daily basis. And as I mentioned before, I hated cardio. I thought I might die of a heart attack by the time I made it to my floor. It couldn’t have possibly been healthy for a human being to produce that much sweat in such a short amount of time.
“I don’t think he’s a fan of Shady’s. I’d be better off just taking him with me.”
“Suit yourself. Shit, I have to go. The sounds coming out of that