She leaned away from him so she could look at his eyes in the semi-darkness. His eyes still looked haunted. “Yeah, it’s okay. It’s just me. You had a nightmare. Do you want me to turn on the light?”
“No,” he rasped as another shudder travelled up his spine. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“It’s okay. I was awake. I was just reading.” She cupped his cheek softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He shook his head. “It’s always the same.” His voice broke. “Just a replay, because obviously it wasn’t bad enough to have to live through it the first time.” His chuckle sounded hollow and bitter.
She tightened her hold around him wanting to give him something else, anything else to hold onto. As she traced a ridge under her fingertip, she had an idea. She kissed his neck and then whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry it happened in the first place. I’m sorry you’ll always have to live with the memories and nightmares. But maybe we can do something to displace some of those nightmares.”
She crawled up into his lap and he watched her warily. “Julie, I’m not sure—”
She silenced him with a soft kiss on his lips. “Let me,” she said seductively and then began tracing the scars running along his pecs with her tongue and lips. Another shudder rolled through him as he moaned low and deep.
That moan went straight to her core and her panties flooded with arousal. As she explored the planes of his hard muscles, her eyes filled with tears at the sheer amount of scars that marred his gorgeous body. She kissed and caressed, as if the action could take some of his pain away from him.
His gentle hands swiped at the tears flowing freely down her face. “Don’t cry for me, Butterfly. Never cry for me. It’s okay. I’m okay.” His voice cracked with emotion.
“I just hate that you had to go through it. I want to be able to take away your pain.”
He frowned down at her. “I don’t want your pity, Julie.”
“That’s not—”
He scooted back to put some separation between their bodies, tugging the sheet up for modesty. He ran a hand over his face. “It’s late. You probably should go to sleep. I’m sorry I disturbed your night.”
“Chris—”
“Please, Julie,” he pleaded. “Please just go back to your room.”
She gave a curt nod as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Okay, for tonight, but we haven’t finished this. Not by a long shot.” She got off the bed and walked to the doorway. Looking back at him, his head hung in his hands and his shoulders drooped. This definitely wasn’t over. She wasn’t going to give up on them.
Chapter 30
He watched her under the sweeping branches of the willow tree surrounding the pond in the small park. Like clockwork, she was here every Wednesday evening, crying underneath this tree. He’d spotted her the first time four weeks ago and had been drawn to her. She was perfect as one of his special ones. She was young, probably only twenty years old or so. Her dark short hair ruffled in the breeze coming off the pond.
Her pain was palpable and he planned to help her. He needed to help her. Only he could free her from this pain and in return, she’d help him in his quest to free Jocelyn from her pain.
He had a pretty good idea about why she chose this particular park to mourn in since it bordered the hospital property.
He slowly approached her, not wanting to startle her. He leaned up against the tree nonchalantly and crossed his arms. “My wife died there three years ago. It helps me to come back where she was last alive. I understand if you want to talk about it.”
She sniffled as she peered up at him with leery, watery eyes. She just shook her head and went back to watching the ducks on the pond.
He continued, using a kind gentle voice, working to lure her in and appear non-threatening. “The first year is the worst, but what they say is true, it does get easier. The key is to get to the point where you can sleep again.”
“I wake up and expect him to be there.” Her voice cracked as she spoke.
He nodded. “Yeah, that’s the worst. Between that and when you first arrive home, expecting them to be in the