Only Her Smokejumper Firefighter - Cami Checketts Page 0,4

connection to him so quickly. She had to be inflating the night and her feelings.

She finally drifted off to sleep. Sleeping late the next day, she had the apartment to herself since Cora was at church. Church. Bah! She didn’t believe. God hadn’t helped her when she’d begged him to make her dad love her, begged him to help her mom be emotionally well enough to take care of her, begged the Lord to stop Bruce from hurting her, begged Him for her innocent baby to live, and finally begged for her pastor to help her find peace and repentance. Instead, she’d been belittled and told she was used up and unworthy. At least the pastor she’d trusted throughout her teenage years had been honest with her.

When she met Cora during their freshman year of college, she could’ve attributed it to divine intervention, but she knew it was just luck. Cora and Mavyn had been there for each other ever since. Mavyn almost felt like she was Cora’s big sister and best friend rolled in one. Cora trusted Mavyn’s instincts and feelings, always listened to her and looked to her for insight and support. That was ironic, since Cora was the believer. Cora needed her and Mavyn didn’t need anybody.

Except Ren Chadwick.

Her entire soul warmed at the thought and the memories of him—his looks, his words, his touch. Almost immediately, the despair and darkness oozed in. She wished she could fight it, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t the right match for a pure, strong, perfect man like Ren. How could she be so weak and let her guard down completely with him? What on earth had she been thinking? It all felt like a fanciful dream. Purity and light weren’t for her. The only light in her life was Cora, and that was how it had to stay.

The next two weeks were horrific. At first, she had to dodge Cora and her questions about the date Saturday night, writing it off as just another fun dinner and kissing session and making sure to not even tell Cora his name. Though Ren Chadwick was on a constant repeat in her own mind. Then she went on different dates every day, sometimes two a day, and that stopped Cora from thinking Mavyn had felt something with Ren. What she felt now was despair and darkness stronger than she had since Bruce had beaten her and her baby died. She knew more than ever that God despised her. He cared about people like Cora and Ren: the good, the kind, the faithful.

The only thing she could do to assuage the pain and not perpetuate the lie of thinking she could be with Ren was to stay away from him. It would hurt him, but it would be better for him in the long run. All she had to do was not show up Saturday night. It was no big deal. Yet she was certain her heart and soul would be ripped in two. The only healing balm she could see was being with Ren again.

Saturday night came and she hated the way she felt—guilty and angry, mostly at Heaven. If it was divine intervention that had brought her and Ren together, the Lord above sure had a wry sense of humor. Why show Mavyn heaven in Ren’s arms when she and heaven both knew she could never have it again?

The decent thing to do would be to meet with Ren and tell him she couldn’t see him again, but she was too afraid. If he touched her, she’d capitulate faster than her mom downed a wine cooler. She debated not showing up at all, but what if he tracked her down? Luckily, they hadn’t exchanged numbers, but a man like Ren could find her. She didn’t doubt it. He was powerful all on his own, but he also had a well-known and impressive family.

A moment in his presence and she’d fall again. She had to protect herself… and him.

There was only one path left open to her. She hated it, but she arrived at Scoma’s at five minutes after seven, buckled into the leather seats of some guy’s fancy car. She couldn’t even remember her date’s name. Her body was trembling and all she wanted was to get this battle with Ren over with.

As the valet got her door, she stood on shaky legs and immediately spotted Ren. He looked incredibly handsome in a white button-down shirt, pale blue tie, and navy-blue slacks.