Only Her Smokejumper Firefighter - Cami Checketts Page 0,16
her. Heaven would never look down on her with approval.
She couldn’t stop herself from asking, “You weren’t … repulsed by me last night?”
“Repulsed?” His jaw dropped and he shook his head. “Oh, Mavyn. I can’t imagine a world where you would repulse me. You consume me. You light a fire in me. You’re my perfect fit.”
Mavyn gasped for air. She wanted to run at him, tell him all her awful secrets, explain why she’d treated him so horribly four months ago, and see if he could truly never be repulsed by her. Sadly, she knew he would be revolted, nauseated, and disgusted if he heard all. She wasn’t strong enough to see that in his eyes and she’d only hurt him all over again if she prolonged this exchange.
She shook her head to clear it and clung to her suitcase handle. “You’re wrong, Ren. I was awful to you four months ago and I wouldn’t change that even if I could.” That was a lie, but she had to stick to her story and get out of here before she folded to his kindness and appeal. “You’re a great man. I could never be your perfect fit.”
He looked so strong and enticing, but his blue eyes filled with sadness at her words. How could she possibly resist him? If she was being selfish, she wouldn’t. She was leaving for his own good, even though he didn’t realize it.
She turned and tugged her suitcase over the wood floor. She tensed as she waited for him to come after her. If he pulled her in his arms again, she’d be sunk.
“You can’t run from destiny, Mavyn Vance,” he said quietly. His voice carried easily across the room. “The good Lord will keep bringing you back to me and someday you’ll know we’re meant to be together.”
Mavyn kept putting one foot in front of the other even as tears sprang to her eyes at his unimaginable words. Blinking quickly and dredging up her old sass, she glanced back at him and said, “Watch me.”
He didn’t respond, simply watched her steadily.
She turned and hurried out the door and into the biting mountain air. She shivered from much more than the cold. Wrestling with her heavy suitcase, she made it down the stairs and into her rented sport utility, certain he would chase after her. She didn’t deserve it, but he seemed so determined they were meant to be together. He was wrong. She could hardly believe such a strong, in-charge-of-his-world man could be so forgiving. She kept hurting him and he kept saying kind things to her. She’d known many true Christians who possessed that courageous yet humble spirit about them. If only she could someday count herself among them. Crazy. That’s what these thoughts were. The love of the best man in the world and God’s forgiveness weren’t possible for her.
Pulling out of the cleared driveway, she was glad the day was bright and sunny with no hint of snow. Still, she could hardly see the road as tears filled her eyes and rolled down her face. She’d walked away from Ren, again, and he hadn’t chased after her. She should be proud of how strong she was, how she was trying to protect him from the darkness inside her, but she only felt pain.
She drove slowly along the tree-lined road and past the gorgeous Mystical Lake Resort. The tears flowed faster. She wished she could stay, be part of the celebrations and the Chadwick family. Christmas surrounded by happy, kind people with Ren’s arms around her was a vision she should’ve shoved from her mind, but it played on repeat. The loss of that opportunity made more tears come. She wasn’t a crier. What was happening to her? What was Ren doing to her?
She drove through town and turned toward the mountain pass. Blinking furiously, she tried to clear her vision. She was tempted to pull over and let this ridiculous crying session run its course, but if she stopped, the next step would be swinging this car around and racing back to Ren. She would beg him to keep telling her they were meant to be until she believed it, seeing if he could look beyond her heartbreaking past to a future together.
No! She swiped at her tears and punched down on the gas pedal. She navigated sharp turns and kept driving mile after torturous mile. All she wanted was to stop and turn around, go back to Ren. She had