There are no savings, other than about twenty quid in our emergency-fund jar, and we have a mortgage with no equity in the house. But if they wanted to blackmail me, surely they would tell me what they want. My mind is leaping ahead to all kinds of conclusions. But I think the most likely is that it’s another woman trying to destroy my marriage. If I find out who it is, I’ll… Well, I don’t know what I’ll do. But I won’t let them get away with it, that’s for damn sure.
And then I remember that Ed used to go out with Fiona. It was about nine years ago; right before Ed and I got together. Fiona and Ed were pretty serious for a while, and I’ve always had the feeling that she wishes it hadn’t ended. Not that she’s ever said anything, but she’s always far too friendly towards my husband, in a proprietorial, shared-history kind of way that gets my back up. Not that she and Nathan don’t seem happy. She’s always going on about how wonderful he is and how they’re soulmates. Only it’s never really rung true for me. It’s like they’re the image of how a perfect couple should be, yet something is missing.
Even though they’re just thoughts, I hate feeling so bitchy. I like Fiona, of course I do. We’ve known one another since we were kids. But there’s always going to be that distance between us because of Ed. Maybe she’s jealous of me. But would she really go as far as to try to ruin my marriage with a few photos?
I think back to the night in question, when we were at that club. It was Fiona’s birthday and Nathan was out of town on business, so she’d arranged a girls’ night out. It wasn’t really Kelly’s scene at all, but she agreed to it because Fiona pretty much forced her to go. I’m sure I was only invited because Kelly asked if I could come too – probably for moral support, because she’s not that comfortable around Fi’s clients and work buddies. Although the three of us are supposedly all best friends, I have the feeling that if it weren’t for Kelly, then Fiona and I wouldn’t be friends at all.
In the end, I remember having a pretty good night at the club – lots of dancing and laughing. Although Kelly and I spent a good chunk of the evening trying to avoid Creepy Barton, the local dentist. He kept dancing up against us in this really cheesy way and offering to buy us drinks. I wonder if it could have been him in the photos. Please, God, no. The very thought of it makes me nauseous. But I get the feeling it wasn’t me he was interested in that night, it was Kelly. He was as subtle as a brick when he asked her how she was coping on her own with the kids. He said if she ever needed to talk he was a good listener. Which is the biggest load of rubbish I’ve ever heard, because there’s nothing Paul Barton likes more than the sound of his own voice.
Aside from Barton, Fiona was annoyingly judgemental that night, just because I decided to have a couple of drinks – okay, maybe more than a couple. She told me several times that I’d had enough, that I was making a show of myself, that I should calm down. I frown, remembering that we had a kind of mini argument. Yes, I remember it now – she said something about pitying Ed. Ugh, how dare she! Just because I know how to have fun. Fiona has never been able to let loose – she’s wound up tighter than one of Leo’s curls. But, then again, maybe she kind of had a point, because the end of the night is definitely a blur.
Seriously, could Fiona really have had something to do with the photos? She’s been behaving oddly recently. Only last week, I saw her in town and waved, but she acted like she hadn’t seen me and went into a shop. Ninety-nine per cent sure she did see me though.
I realise I’ve completely zoned out from Ed’s conversation. I tune back in to his story about a local TV presenter who was in the pub last night. I nod and make the appropriate listening noises until he finishes talking.