One Night On The Virgin's Terms - Melanie Milburne Page 0,55

happened? Come on, Louis, don’t you see how much I care about you? It’s in every kiss and touch. Every time we make love I give all of myself to you, not just my body, but all of me. I love you.’

He grimaced, as if suffering a deep pain. ‘You don’t know what you’re saying, Ivy. You’ll be embarrassed by this in the weeks ahead. I can guarantee it. You’re seeing me through oxytocin-tinted glasses—it’s the sex hormone that makes people feel bonded to a lover. We have no bond other than friendship. This fling we’re having—’

‘It’s not a fling to me!’ Ivy interjected, her heart contracting with anguish at his constant use of that horrible word. ‘It’s never been a fling or an arrangement. I think on some level I always knew that it could never be that. I think I asked you to help me with my intimacy issues because I loved you. I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t. I see that now. It had to be you because it’s always been you I loved.’

‘Look—one of the reasons I only have flings is because of this sort of thing happening,’ he said. ‘I let people down without even trying. I told you from the start what I was prepared to give. It upsets me to see you hurt, knowing I have caused it.’ He rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe how he had got himself into this situation. ‘I’m sorry, Ivy, but this is all I can give you right now.’

Diamonds. Memories. A clock ticking on their fling. ‘It’s not enough. And I don’t think it’s enough for you either. You feel bad about this situation because it clashes with how you think of yourself and the way you really want to be. That’s the source of your pain, not the fact you’ve let me down or any number of other people down. You’ve let you down. The true you.’

The waiter approached with the bill and Ivy was forced to contain her emotions until the transaction was processed. Louis silently led her out of the restaurant, his expression going into lockdown. It wasn’t the way she wanted their evening to end but, now she had come to her senses, she had no choice but to see this through. She could not keep driving down a dead end until she crashed into Louis’ emotional stop sign.

They walked back to his apartment in silence. His expression might have been closed but Ivy could feel Louis’ frustration coming off him in waves. Even the sound of his key stabbing into the lock and the way he opened the door hinted at his brooding tension. He closed the door with a snap and tossed his key onto the hall table with a careless flick of his hand. The key landed into a ceramic bowl with a noisy clatter.

‘I told you from the start how uncomfortable I was about this whole plan of yours,’ Louis said. ‘You have only yourself to blame for how it’s turned out now.’

Ivy pressed her lips together, trying to gather her composure. She didn’t want to end their fling in a slanging match. But their fling had to end. Tonight. Now. Not another day could go past with her continuing to fool herself their relationship would turn into something else. He had made it abundantly, blatantly, brutally clear it wouldn’t. ‘Louis, this is not easy for me to say, but I want to finish our fling now. It wouldn’t be right for me to sleep with you again, not under these terms. I don’t want to cheapen what we’ve shared.’

‘I could hardly call what we’ve shared cheap.’ His tone was cruelly sardonic, his glittering gaze cutting as he glanced at the diamonds in her ears and around her neck.

Ivy stiffened as anger spread through her. So, that was the way he wanted to play it, was it? She purposefully removed each earring and placed them in the ceramic bowl with his keys. She placed her hands behind her neck to undo the fastening of the pendant, glaring at him with icy disdain. ‘I’ve decided I prefer book and cinema vouchers after all. Maybe you can find some other fling partner to give these to. I don’t want them.’

His top lip curled, and his eyes flashed. ‘What? You don’t want to take home a souvenir of your first love affair?’

She ground her teeth so hard, she thought she