One Night On The Virgin's Terms - Melanie Milburne Page 0,14

really did. I thought he loved both of us, and Mum too back in the day. He used to say Mum’s quirkiness and out-there personality was what attracted him in the first place, but where was his love for her when he had that affair when I was thirteen? Their divorce was bad enough but at least I still got to spend time with my dad on weekend access visits. I never doubted his love for me and Ronan. But, since Ronan told us he was gay two years ago, Dad turned off his love for us like turning off a light switch. I still can’t quite get my head around it. I mean, we’re his flesh and blood, and yet he refuses to have anything to do with us. I feel like I’ve loved someone all my life that I didn’t really know at all.’

Louis reached across the table and covered her hand with the broad expanse of his. The skin on the back of her hand tingled, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up, the soft flutter between her legs returning. His eyes were an intense smoky blue—clouds and sky, shadows and sunlight, unknowable depths and shifting shallows.

‘I’m sorry you’ve been so hurt by him. But it’s his problem, not yours. You have to remember you and Ronan did nothing wrong.’

Ivy gave him a wry smile. ‘You should have been a therapist.’

His gaze dipped to her mouth for a brief moment, his own mouth twisting in a rueful half-smile. He removed his hand from hers and sat back in his chair. ‘Yes, well, I’ve been handling difficult people all my life.’

Ivy wanted to ask more about his family, but just then the waiter came back with their wine and, once it was poured, he took their meal order before discreetly melting away again.

Ivy picked up her glass and raised it in a toast. ‘What shall we drink to? One night without strings?’ On the surface she sounded cool and calm about sleeping with him but on the inside her nerves were going haywire. What if she freaked out just as she had the other times? But then she recalled their kiss and thought maybe she wouldn’t freak out. Maybe making love with him would be like kissing him—wonderful, amazing. But how would she know without convincing him to do it?

Louis’ mouth flattened. ‘Here’s the thing—it’s never without strings. It’s rare for two people to want the same thing out of a fling, no matter how short it is.’

‘But as long as we’re clear on the rules from the outset why should it be a problem? I mean, we’re not strangers—we’re friends who will continue to have a relationship once our night together is over.’

One of his ink-black eyebrows rose in a sceptical arc. ‘Will we?’

‘Of course,’ Ivy said. ‘Why wouldn’t we? You’re Ronan’s best friend. I will never forget how much you’ve supported him over the years. You were the first person he came out to, years before he told anyone else. I truly think he wouldn’t have made it without your support and acceptance.’

‘Which is why I’m concerned about this plan of yours.’ His expression was etched in lines of gravitas. ‘What if it proves too awkward to go back to being friends?’

Ivy let out a gusty sigh. Was this going to be the story of her life? Constant rejection? ‘I think you’re looking for excuses not to sleep with me. All right. You win. Forget about my plan. I’ll find someone else.’

There was a tight silence.

Louis reached for her hand again, his fingers warm and strong over hers. ‘No. Don’t do that.’ His eyes held hers in an unwavering lock. ‘I’m still getting my head around what you want from me.’

‘Why? Because I have sexual needs just like anyone else?’ Ivy asked, pulling her hand out of his. ‘I’m not a child, Louis. I’m a fully-grown woman and I want to feel like one in bed with a man. But how can I if I freak out at the thought of undressing in front of a guy?’

‘Have you gone on any dates in the past?’

‘Four.’ Ivy mentally cringed at her paltry number of dates. No doubt Louis’ dates numbered six figures by now.

‘Only four?’

‘Yep, and they were all disasters.’

His dark brows drew together, a shadow of concern backlighting his gaze. ‘Why?’

Ivy released a heavy sigh. ‘The first one of my dates asked me out for a drink. That was fine until he said