One Night Stand-In (Boyfriend Material #3) - Lauren Blakely Page 0,25
and so did my mom. That drove them apart, splintering their marriage. And they didn’t stop. They both worked so damn much post divorce they didn’t have time for their kids. I was older and handled it better. But Rowan was always the more sensitive one, more needy. His heart was easily wounded. He was younger too, still moldable clay. And I couldn’t stand by and watch them ignore him with their work obsessions, so I became a de facto parent to him. “I hated that they didn’t have time for him, and I wasn’t going to do the same thing.”
“That’s why I chose the school I did,” Lola confesses quietly. “I don’t regret it. I’m glad I went to school where I did. But I did it partly to stay close to her.”
“I did the same for him,” I admit, something I never voiced at the time. But I chose a close college so I could keep an eye on him, since the people who were supposed to never did. They were too caught up in work, too intent on lashing out at each other, even after they split.
“Do you ever feel like you love him more than he gives you any reason to?” she asks.
I laugh, but it’s tinged with a little sadness as I nod an emphatic yes. “Yeah, I do, but he’s like Puss in Boots when he bats his eyes.”
“No one can resist those help me eyes.”
“I’m powerless against him,” I admit. “But I don’t regret it. He needs someone, and in his own way, he appreciates it. He’s grateful, and that seems to hook me every time.”
“Luna’s the same. Even though she’s so needy, she’s also so loving. She’s like a puppy.” Lola sighs, her gaze drifting away. When she speaks again, her voice is low and vulnerable. “Is it our fault that Luna and Rowan are still so dependent at times?”
“That’s what my friend Reid says,” I admit, flashing back to my conversation with him this morning. “He said I need to learn to say no to Rowan. That I need to let him fend for himself. He’s probably right, but it’s hard.” I can say to Lola what I can’t to Reid. He hasn’t been through the same things. He hasn’t seen a younger sibling start to spiral, to lose their sense of self, and been the only one who tries to help. “I love my kid brother. Flaws and all. Fuckups and all. And I’ve been saving him since we were kids.”
Lola lifts her glass, takes a drink, and exhales. “And I don’t know what I’d truly accomplish if I said no to Luna’s crazy requests. She’s independent; she supports herself. I’m not paying her bills or anything. She’s just sometimes a little . . . overly needy.”
“And he’s sometimes wildly un-independent when it comes to little things,” I say.
“So maybe we agree on this point,” Lola says, a quirk to her lips.
A grin tugs at mine too. “That there’s nothing wrong with helping a sibling?”
She tips her glass to mine. “To family. To loving them, flaws and all.”
“I will definitely drink to that.” As the crash of pins echoes in the background, I knock back some of the beer, and for the first time in a long time, I feel understood when it comes to my choices about my brother.
I still don’t know if I’m doing right by helping him out of every jam. But at least I’m not alone in having no damn clue what the answer is.
The waiter arrives with our food.
“And here are your fries, your sandwich, and your burger. Enjoy,” he says.
I grab a fry, and my taste buds cartwheel. “Salt and carbs. My favorite drugs,” I say with a happy food moan.
“Mine too,” she says, her pretty brown eyes twinkling.
And as I look at her face, I see something so very real—I can still make her smile.
Something I did before.
Something I failed to do when I returned to school.
When I said that shitty thing—It was only one night.
I shouldn’t have said that.
I should have said a lot of other things.
Talking about my brother reminds me of that. I’ve had to be the adult with him. I had to take care of him when my parents stopped doing it.
I have no regrets. I love that kid like crazy. I want to give him everything I saw them take away.
But even though I’ve chosen to play the role of the mature one with Rowan, I haven’t always