profession. A bad day at the hospital meant I couldn’t save all my patients. It happened right at the end of my shift.
I wasn’t just mourning the patient who passed, but also the loved ones he’d left behind. I wasn’t sure, but maybe losing Ryan had sensitized me to this. I always insisted on talking to the family too, saying a few kind words. I wasn’t sure if it helped, but I wanted to be there for them. Talking to this guy’s family was particularly difficult for some reason. His mom and sister were just stunned, a feeling I understood so well.
I was breathing in and out, blinking rapidly. My eyes were burning, and my chest was tight. I just needed to get someplace where I was alone, and then I could let it all out.
I walked at a brisk pace, focusing on every step, on staying strong. I couldn’t lose it in front of the patients. A crying doctor was a huge no-no. It would just make them doubt the competence of the hospital staff, and I didn’t want to make any patients or their relatives uneasy.
I headed straight to the shower in the changing rooms. I turned the water on at maximum pressure, discarding my scrubs and underwear and stepping under the spray. Then I finally let a sob out, and all the tears I’d held back before.
I spent twice as long as usual in the shower, right until my breath was back to a normal rhythm and my chest was no longer heavy. I was light-headed when I stepped out from spending so much time under the hot water.
I dressed carefully before blow-drying my hair, which was when I noticed my appearance. Awww... I was a mess. Not only were my eyes red, but somehow my whole face was swollen. How was I supposed to meet Cole when I was in this state?
I didn’t look date ready, and I didn’t feel like it either. What I needed was a cup of hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, some fuzzy socks, and a rom-com. I liked to lick my wounds alone.
Laney: Hey! Had a difficult day at the hospital. Would you mind meeting on another day?
Cole: What happened?
Laney: Lost a patient :-(((((
I felt like adding a million more sad emojis but held back.
Cole: I am so sorry.
Laney: I will just head home.
Cole: Are you sure you don’t want me to come? Just saying, but I’m excellent company. I believe I’ve proved that a few times already.
The corners of my mouth lifted in a smile.
Laney: Are you going to win me over with a foot massage again?
Cole: Yeah. And my offer for a full-body massage still stands.
I laughed, despite everything. I couldn’t believe he’d managed to make me laugh. Just the thought of seeing him made me feel lighter, and just like that, for the first time since starting my residency, I didn’t want to be alone after losing a patient. I wanted to be with Cole.
Laney: I’m a bit mopey, though.
Cole: All the more reason to meet—my excellent company will cheer you up.
I was laughing in earnest now. Even though I wasn’t wearing my scrubs anymore and patients couldn’t tell I was a doctor, I kept my head down as I walked out of the hospital. There was no risk of me crying again, but my face gave me away, and I didn’t want my colleagues to see me like this.
Once outside, I darted toward the intersection where I was meeting Cole. I chuckled as I passed two women discussing the newest fad in desserts—cheesecake with sprinkled Oreos. So many were out, just enjoying the sunny day. The energy of the city helped me get out of my headspace, but when I noticed Cole, my whole body felt lighter.
I stopped right in front of him, taking in all that masculine charm of his. Without saying one word, he took my face in his hands. He pressed his fingers on my cheek.
“You’ve been crying.”
My cheeks heated up. I’d hoped he wouldn’t be able to tell.
“A bit. It’s just so sad whenever we lose someone.”
“Fuck, you’re so damn adorable.” He pulled me into a bear hug, and I just got lost in his arms right there on the sidewalk. He smelled so insanely delicious. I buried my nose in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. I felt, if possible, even lighter. My heartbeat slowed down, as if his proximity was all it took to calm me. I was