Once and Again - By Lauren Dane Page 0,52
Nathan.”
“Got it. No one is going to say anything. Nathan has told us all to keep it quiet until the summer. Which is only three days from now, I should remind you. You know, just in case you forgot or something.”
“It’s a good thing you’re not a professional poker player. You lack any sort of subtlety.”
“He loves you. He’s trying to respect your space and be supportive, and he’s a little lost. He’s an alpha male trying to be a little more beta, you know? He wants to help you because that’s what he does. Help him.”
“I’m in so far above my head it’s not funny.” She scrubbed her hands over her face.
“Stay right here. We need more cinnamon rolls and coffee.”
She put her head down on her arms and groaned. Damn Murphys being so wonderful.
“Okay. William sent over the pot here.” Beth put the carafe down after refilling both mugs. “And freshly baked cinnamon rolls with extra glaze on the non-raisin ones. He says to ask for extra next time instead of picking the raisins out. He might have been slightly insulted or slightly proud. Hard to say which with that one.”
Not much better in the world but a warm-from-the-oven cinnamon roll with a hot cup of coffee.
After she’d eaten another, she sat back. “When he and I broke it off…before, it took me a while to get over it. I sort of fell into a pit of depression. I was totally pathetic. God. Anyway. I sat around all day in sweats and watched reality television, all the while just not going to class and risking my enrollment status. Everything was out of control and I saw him everywhere. At the grocery store, at the library or movies. I didn’t want to go out. He looked so happy. Man I wanted to slap his face.” She focused on Beth again. “Sorry.”
“No, don’t be. He’s my brother and I love him, but I’m your friend too. I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could share this with me before. I was a crappy friend.”
Lily shook her head. “No. You were in an awkward position. I didn’t bring it to you of my own accord. You never said not to, I just didn’t want to put you in the middle and I was embarrassed too. Anyway. I realized one day that my life was not at all what I wanted it to be. And that by allowing it to continue, I was allowing your brother to continue to make me feel like nothing.
“So I made a plan to deal with my credit-card debt, which thankfully wasn’t bad. I made myself get up and out of the apartment every day. I studied on a strict schedule, and I stopped eating all the stuff that made me sick. My grades rebounded and I finished near the top of my class. I moved to Macon and landed a great job doing what I loved. My family was near enough that I could see them for all the big stuff but not every day where I’d go crazy, and I’d never have to see or speak to Nathan.”
Beth simply listened.
“It’s not so much that I wished him ill by that point. Or that I hadn’t gotten over him or that he’d given me baggage or whatever. I dated. I had three serious relationships in the time between now and then. The last one I considered marrying. I’m confident of myself and I know what I want. I’m not afraid to go after it either. These are not things I didn’t have in great measure when I was with Nathan. But it’s because of him that I got stronger.”
“And then everything went catawampus.”
“Eloquent. So then my parents’ marriage breaks up. Which happens. I guess I assumed they’d stick it out. My dad was sort of lazy, and she did everything for him, especially since he retired. I was surprised and I felt bad for my mom and Chris, but it was what happened and I went back to my routine. And then Chris gets in trouble. I come here and in one night I find out this has become such a big problem my mother can’t handle it. My sister is a whackjob. I have to come back here and raise not only Chris, but my mother. I have zero control really, and into this maelstrom walks the only man I’ve ever really loved and he’s not the same as before. Not the same in any