Oh Lord, Help Me Keep My Panties on - By Lynda Burton Page 0,86

and restocked it with my toiletries. I checked my bank account and paid my bills for the next three months in advance. Then I called Nia and asked if she could stay at my house and take care of Hobbs for a while and she agreed. I checked the Internet for last minute vacation packages, packed a bag, and then headed for the airport. I needed to clear my head. I had to stop thinking about the demons that were controlling my life. I had to slay them all and take control of my happiness.

I managed to get a flight on standby and flew to Barbados that evening. I stayed in an upscale resort on Maxwell Coast Road and kept to myself during my stay. I decided to take one day at a time and to relax and to clear my head. I meditated everyday and thanked God for the things I accomplished in my life. During the day I ran on the beach and, took long walks. At night I dined and went dancing. I got my thoughts together and was able to shed my demons that had haunted my life. I felt revived and ready to take on the world. I wasn’t going to let Max or any other man take away my sunshine. I began to walk with my head up high, and I promised myself never to stress over a man again.

When I returned home a week later, I decided to give my home a thorough cleaning and came across some of Max’s belongings that I had missed. I packed them in a box and decided that I would drop it off before the days end. After I finished cleaning I noticed that I was running low on one of my favorite perfumes and decided to treat myself to a new bottle. So I showered and put on a nice pair a jeans and top then hit the mall. While I was at the counter sampling new fragrances, two of Max’s friends spotted me and walked over. “Hey, aren’t you Haley, Max’s girlfriend?” they asked. I looked up and acknowledged my acquaintance with Max. “Yes, but were no longer together.” “Oh,” one man said in surprise. “Damn, Max is always fucking up. We’ve known him a long time, and he’s always doing stupid shit. Well, it was nice to see you,” and then they walked away. I shook it off and continued my shopping. When I was finished I drove to Max’s house and left the package on the front step got back in my car and drove home.

I lit a fire in the fireplace then curled up on the couch and turned on the TV. I looked at Hobbs and gave him a big hug. I had to get reacquainted with living alone, and this time, I was going to take my time. Two months later, Hobbs died from old age. I was devastated and now all alone in the house. So I put my nose into my work and socialized only when necessary, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and maybe Mother’s day. Just short of that I was either at work or home. My friends were busy with their lives but always kept in touch and in contact with me.

I met a couple of guys here and there but shied away from any serious involvement. I decided to give celibacy a try and I am doing great. Just as long as I have no physical contact with men, I’m fine. That means, no hugs, and definitely no kissing, that’s out of the question. I can resist anything but temptation. I know me, if I allowed myself to indulge in that one kiss, especially if it was an intense one. It’s a wrap. So for the most part I stay away from any physical contact. In fact, I think its best.

Anyway, I stayed in a slump for a week or two then I snapped out of it. I had received a substantial bonus from work and decided that I’d treat myself to a new car. So I called Nia and Monica and a shopping we went. I finally decided on a pewter and cream SL 500. Then I decided to have an impromptu dinner party that weekend and to invite my friends over for a night of fun. I went food shopping and decided to put my culinary skills to work. Toni, Nia, and Monica pitched in and helped me prepare a scrumptious six-course meal with all the fixings.

Just as I was just about to remove the cheese cake from the oven my phone rang. I walked over to it and picked it up on the third ring. “Hello,” I answered. There was a long pause on the other end. Then I heard the caller whispered back, baby, I finally figured out why God brought us together.” I smiled and placed the phone against my breast then replied, “Here I go again.

Oh lord, help me keep my panties on!”

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