Oh Lord, Help Me Keep My Panties on - By Lynda Burton Page 0,21
the shakes, I was nauseous, and I couldn’t catch my balance. My heart felt as if it was going to burst through my chest. One minute I was okay, the next I was crying hysterically. My god, help me pull myself together.
Dawn sat on the side of the tub and watched Nia bathe me. When she was finished they stood me up and turned on the shower to rinse the soap off me. Then they dried me off and put me in bed. In the meantime, Sean was making us drinks, I guess after that madness, we all needed drinks. Lots of drinks at that! Sean tucked me in and they all sat around in my room and waited for me to fall asleep. I woke up sometime around 7:30 PM and found Nia fast asleep next to me. I gingerly eased my way out of the bed, trying not to wake her and went downstairs where I found Dawn making breakfast.
“Hey, Haley, are you okay? I’m gonna make up some coffee, how about it?” Dawn asked as she hugged me. “No. I don’t want anything right now,” I replied. We sat in the kitchen and I gave her a blow-by-blow account of the whole Jordan, Angie, Jayden saga. She assured me that things would work out, and I would be okay. But I knew in my heart things wouldn’t be okay and that Jordan was gone, gone for good and out of my life for ever.
Just then Nia walked into the kitchen. “Hey, bitches!” We turned around and laughed. It’s a term of endearment that we use amongst ourselves. “Hey, girl!” Dawn shouted. Nia walked over to me and gave me a big hug for support. I knew I had great friends, but it wasn’t till then I realized how blessed I was. I believe Sean, Dawn, and Nia turned into my guardian angles over the past two days. They don’t realize that they truly saved me from a fate worse than death.
The next three days were unbearable for me. Everywhere I looked I saw things that reminded me of Jordan. He had things all over my house. There were photos, artwork that he brought back from his trips hung on the walls, clothes in my closet, and other countless possessions. The essence of Jordan was everywhere.
The following weekend Jordan called and asked if I could bring him the rest of his clothes. What fucking nerve! “Yeah, I’ll bring your things to the apartment after I get off work on Friday,” I said under my breath. It was unnerving, and I couldn’t do it alone. So I called Dawn and Nia to help me. It took us all night long to go thru the house and to pack up his stuff. Then I ran out of space in my car! I had to make two trips. Oh hell no, if he wants the rest of his things, he’ll have to come and get them himself. It was a long and lonely drive from Long Island to Harlem. I was nervous the closer I got to Harlem, the more I started to perspire.
When I arrived at the apartment, Xavier answered the door and greeted me with a hug and kiss. He noticed that I had two suitcases in hand and jokingly asked if I were running away from Long Island. I forced a smile and went straight to Jordan’s room without answering. I knocked on the door and entered slowly.
There in the dark sat Jordan. He got up and gave me a hug. He sat me down and held my hand and took a deep breath. Jordan felt it necessary to talk about our last conversation, and to rehash what happened over the Christmas holidays. I was getting upset and went into the kitchen and poured a large glass of Tequila and started to throw it back. I walked back into the bedroom; I looked around the room and truly didn’t know where to start. As Jordan talked, I drank; in fact, I drank so much I was having a hard time standing up. I hadn’t eaten all day; so between having an empty stomach, crying, and the tequila, I was drunk as a skunk in no time.
I was so fucked up! I stumbled to the bathroom, and cried myself to sleep while sitting on the toilet. I don’t know how long I was in there, but it must have been a long time. The next thing I knew, Jordan