Oh Lord, Help Me Keep My Panties on - By Lynda Burton Page 0,19

world. What he said tore into my heart like a lightning bolt tearing my heart into a million pieces and caused the light in my heart to die. Jordan told me that he was confused. He was confronted with a serious decision to make. He began to explain that while visiting with his son during the Christmas holidays, Angie hit him with this. She stated that she was sorry for deceiving him, that she and Jayden needed him in their lives. That she needs a man, and her man back. She wants her son to know the sense of family, and the three of them could work past their problems. When Jordan resisted her offer, Angie threatened to move from Ohio, and he would have a difficult time or never see his son again. Then Jordan dropped the bombshell; Jordan confessed that he was in love with the both of us! My head was spinning, my stomach was tied up in knots, I was nauseous and became light-headed; I tried to talk but couldn’t.

This was great timing, I had an important meeting at work and if I didn’t leave within the hour, I’d end up right in the middle of the rush hour. Shit, I didn’t have time for fifty questions. God, just give me the strength to get dresses without asking anymore questions. But I couldn’t help myself; I had a million questions running through my head. I held back my tears and walked over to Jordan and held him tight. As I looked up at him, tears came from everywhere, and I began to shake uncontrollably.

He wiped my tears and told me to get dressed, and we would talk about it when we both got home from work. Jordan’s words were cold; his demeanor was uncaring and strange. The voices in my head kept saying, We have such a beautiful relationship. He loves me and I love him. How can he throw this away? He told me that I was perfect for him. The next thing I knew, I was looking up at the ceiling, and Jordan was kneeling over me with tears in his eyes. I guess I was so overwhelmed; I passed out. He gently picked me up off the floor and placed me on the bed. He went into the bathroom and brought back a cold wet wash cloth and began to wipe my face. He climbed on to the bed, held me in his arms, and we both cried. I was a wreck; there was no way I could drive, and I definitely couldn’t go to work. Jordan called my office and told them that I must have a 24-hour bug and that I wouldn’t be coming in. He, on the other hand, had rehearsal then a show that night. It was getting late; Jordan kissed me on the forehead and asked if I’d mind if he drives the car into the city. “Go ahead; take it,” I said as I turned my back to him. I cried and drifted in and out of sleep all day. I was a mess. All I could do was think of how I had given my all to Jordan and this relationship, and now it’s over? I woke up somewhere around 9:00 PM and couldn’t open my eyes, they were swollen shut, from crying all day. I staggered to the bathroom, splashed water on my face, and tried to pry my eyes open. I was a mess, no, I was hideous! My eyes were so swollen that I looked like a sci-fi monster. I grabbed a couple of ice cubes from the freezer and sat in the living room. Jordan arrived home around eleven-thirty. He sat in the living room with me for a while. Then said he had a lot of thinking to do and was going to his apartment.

He called a cab then went upstairs to pack a bag. By the time he finished packing his bag, the cab was in front of the house blowing its horn. He ran down the stairs, kissed me good-bye, and walked out the door. The next three days I was in limbo. I know the sun rose in the morning and set in the evening, but that’s all I could tell you. I didn’t eat, drink, or bathe. The only normal one in my house was Hobbs. He knew something was wrong with me and stayed by my side. All I can remember is that my phone rang