OCD, the Dude, and Me - By Lauren Roedy Vaughn Page 0,63
skills leader, Lisa. Both report that you seem happy, which is all any of us ever wanted for you. Is it true?
Marv
*MARV MISSIVE*
Letter from me to Marv
Marv,
It really pisses me off that you would talk to Lisa and believe anything she says. Her behavior caused me to kiss my gay friend in public. Don’t ask. Just know she’s a mess. Besides that, yes, it’s true, I am learning “to firm my inner smile,” which is something my yoga teacher says. But I’m no fool. I know these feelings aren’t lasting.
Danielle
*MARV MISSIVE*
Letter from Marv to me
Danielle,
I didn’t ask if you found lasting happiness, just happiness. Nothing is lasting, but I know you are aware of that as you prepare to graduate from high school. I am very proud of you. Also, your mother told me you are going to prom—bravo for you. Lisa is not as bad or as stupid as you think.
Marv
*MISSED MARV MISSIVE*
Letter I think to write to Marv but never actually give to him
Marv,
You have been a good help to me this year; although, I’m shocked to find myself thinking that. Sometimes your little notes kept me afloat on days I thought I’d drown. Still, I think you’re wrong about Lisa.
Danielle
*ME-MOIR JOURNAL* 6/11
Lebowski Fest
The month of June has several exciting events for me, and Lebowski Fest was the one I was looking forward to the most. We arrived an hour early after finding an In-N-Out Burger where I ordered the grilled cheese. We ate in the car and listened to the movie sound track to prep for the night. The Fest was in Carson at a bowling alley, and when we arrived, there were hundreds of costumed fanatics waiting in line to get in.
Joyce and Karen were big hits as White Russians because they are gorgeous and draw a crowd for that reason. One guy in line behind us was dressed as Bunny in nothing but a green bikini, blond wig, and green toenail polish, but he did not make a necessary waxing appointment before the event. He was a very hairy Bunny.
Daniel and I were wearing all black. I wore a dress with “Bereaved but not a Sap” embroidered on the pocket in white lettering. A wide-rimmed black hat with a veil covered my face (loved that). Daniel looked awesome in a black pinstriped suit with a cool gangster-style hat. He had the same embroidered words that I did on his lapel. We both had holsters and fake guns—we’re not saps! There were Dudes everywhere representing the character at various points in the film. My favorites were the robe-wearing Dudes who managed to get those clear jelly sandals that are just hideous but look right on The Dude.
Daniel had a conversation with a guy dressed as Jackie Treehorn, the known pornographer in the film. In real life he was a surfing rabbi who was also a league bowler. He knew the owners of the Carson bowling alley and was scheduled to have a lane once we got in the place. We didn’t think we’d actually be able to bowl because there were so many people, and it was difficult to get a lane. We were planning to just watch everything from the sidelines. But “Jackie” liked Aunt Joyce (no surprise), and so she flirted her way into an invitation to play on his lane. (Pun not intended. I am talking about literally bowling.) She didn’t go out with him or anything, but he was normal enough, as normal as you can be while dressed as a known pornographer. When he invited us to play on his lane she said, “I like the way you do business, man,” and Daniel and I were so happy that Aunt Joyce knew the movie enough to quote it like everyone else was doing all night.
To really enjoy this night, you had to be completely obsessed with the world of this movie so you could keep up and play your part. Daniel and I did just fine. We watched the movie about ten times so when The Eagles started playing over the loudspeaker we yelled right on cue with everyone else, “I hate the fuckin’ Eagles, man!” just like The Dude.
In a weird alternative universe like Lebowski Fest, it’s appropriate that bizarre things happen. Two bizarre things did happen (a good even number). One: I found out I was super good at bowling, even in an evening dress, and two: Iggie from social skills class was there with his two brothers who