Number Neighbors - Emma Hart Page 0,38
they landed on our table. They flashed with annoyance as they met mine, but I knew she wasn’t pissed at me.
I hoped she wasn’t.
We’d probably saved these four from doing something extra stupid.
“Uh-oh,” Evelyn said, hiding behind her huge gin glass. “We’re in trouble.”
Jen narrowed her eyes at us. “Which one of you fuckers called her?”
“Grandma!” Hannah stomped to the table. “Don’t talk to them like that! You know you’re not supposed to be here.”
Jen turned and looked at her. “I’m your elder.”
“You’re my pain in the ass,” she shot back. “There’s a damn good reason you’re not allowed out drinking without supervision. You can’t control yourselves!”
“That’s why I’m wearing leather pants, darling,” Lil replied. “Absolute bitch to get on and off. That’s me controlling myself.”
“That’s not the point.” Hannah put her hands on her hips. “Finish your drinks. We’re leaving before you do something crazy.”
“Who died and made you the boss?” Kathleen sniffed.
“Ask Grandma. She was reading the obituaries this morning after all.”
My lips quirked. That was a strange little habit she had, but it fit her. And aside from using it to torture her granddaughters about her age, I imagined it was an efficient way of updating her phonebook.
If she actually had a phonebook.
I wouldn’t put it past her not to have one.
“Who died and made her boss?” Kathleen asked Jen.
“God knows, but I want to speak to the HR department. She’s awful.”
Hannah huffed. “That’s it. We’re going. Or I’m calling the police and having you pre-emptively put in jail.”
“They don’t do that, dear,” Lil said, eyes still on the TV. “Too expensive apparently. You pay all these taxes and they won’t lock anyone up to stop them causing trouble.”
“The irony of that statement does not escape me,” Hannah said tightly. “Come on. Let’s go. Now.”
“I’ll help you take them home.” I finished the last of my beer and put the bottle down. “I’ve only had that one.”
Relief flashed in her eyes.
“He’s taking me!” Jen said, standing up with her cane. “Let’s go, hot stuff!”
“Wouldn’t it make more sense for Mason to take you home? Considering you live next door to him?” Hannah asked Jen.
“Can’t, sorry.” Mason did as I had and finished the beer. “I promised Immy I’d stop in and see if she needed help. She’s all yours, man.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “Ladies. Behave yourselves.”
“Never,” Evelyn chirped happily.
They all finished their drinks, and Jen latched herself onto my arm. “I’ve never slept with a Brit, you know.”
“Don’t be offended by this, but I’m a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation.”
“I have,” Lil said breezily. “Fabulous lovers.”
Hannah’s cheeks burned. “Out. Now. Before you go too far.”
This wasn’t too far?
Jesus. I didn’t want to know what happened when they crossed the line.
I guided Jen out of the door while Mason helped Hannah corral the other three old ladies into her car. When they were in the back and the child locks were in place—something Jen cackled about for a good few minutes—we waved goodbye to Mason and headed out of the parking lot.
“Take a left,” Jen said. “So, you’re dating my granddaughter.”
I should have known this was coming.
“We had a date.” I made the turn. “That doesn’t constitute dating as far as I’m aware.”
“It does now. I make the rules.”
“Okay, fine. I’m dating your granddaughter. A right here?”
“The next intersection,” she replied. “I want to know about you. Size you up a little bit. I already know you’re good with power tools.”
Was that euphemism? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t going to put anything past this woman.
“I spent all my summers on my grandparents’ farm,” I told her, turning right. “I didn’t have much of a choice but to learn how to use them.”
“Seems reasonable. I have a bookshelf I want to buy. Will you put it up for me?”
“Why do I feel like this is some kind of test?”
“Mason already told me no. I told him there was cheesecake on offer. Do you like cheesecake, Isaac?”
“I won’t turn it down,” I said slowly.
“I make it. I’m a good baker. You build my shelves and I’ll make you whatever cheesecake you like.”
“Is this how you get your own way for everything?”
“With everyone but my granddaughters,” she said brightly. “But I don’t like them much, so I don’t really care.”
I snorted back a laugh. “Fair enough. Do they know that?”
“I tell them regularly so they should. Either that or they’re dumber than I thought.”
“Do you just say whatever comes into your head without regard for the