Not You It's Me (Boston Love #1) - Julie Johnson Page 0,108
those bright eyes, she looks so young. So innocent. And I know I’m not responsible for her, that I’m certainly not her big sister… but I can’t help myself from trying to protect her, even if it’s not my place.
“He just… gives me a vibe,” I hedge.
“Come on, girl. You have to do better than that.”
I sigh. “Let’s just say, Chase has told me some stories. And he doesn’t seem like the nicest guy out there.”
She nods. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m not really interested in him, then.”
“You’re not?”
“Nope.” A slow grin spreads across her face. “But I am hoping word that I was his date gets around to a certain someone.”
I laugh out loud. “Let me guess — someone your brother disapproves of?”
“His best friend,” she says, a little miserably. “I’ve loved him for, like, ever. But he refuses to see me as anything but a little sister.”
“So, you’re trying to make him jealous?”
“Yep.” She sighs deeply. “According to my friends, it’s a great motivator, as well as one of the only ways to get a man to see how pigheaded he’s being.”
“I wouldn’t know. I’m new at this whole dating thing, myself.”
Her eyes catch mine in the mirror. “You’re doing fine. Better than fine. Have you seen the way Chase looks at you?”
I blush.
“Vanessa is off her head. And, quite possibly, her meds. Because that man looks at like you like he’s never letting you out of his sight.”
I snort. “Which is probably why we should be getting back.”
“You go, I’m going to touch up my makeup.”
“See you back at the table.”
“Hey, Gemma?” Her voice halts me just before I reach the doors, and I turn back to face her.
“Yeah?”
“I’m really glad I met you.”
My heart lurches in my chest and I begin to fiddle with my necklace, pressing my fingers into the sharp-edged gold to calm myself.
“You too.”
“Maybe we can grab lunch, sometime?”
Maybe…if you don’t hate me after tonight.
“I’d like that.”
“Good.” Her eyes crinkle at the corners, catching on the pendant in my hands. “You know, it’s funny… I have that exact same necklace at home.”
I stop breathing.
“I’ve had it forever.” She shrugs. “I guess it’s kind of my lucky charm.”
What are the odds of that?
“Really?” I ask, my voice cracking.
She nods. “My dad gave it to me when I was little. He said when you keep the sun by your heart, the shadows can’t ever get close.”
My hand drops away from the necklace, as though the metal has scalded me.
No.
No way.
This necklace was a gift from my mother.
Not from him.
Not from the father who never wanted me.
Not the father who called me a mistake.
No.
Nothing makes sense as I stand there looking at her, failing to form a single word as my mind spins out of control. I don’t even try to respond; I just force one last smile, turn on my heel, and slip out the doors without another word. The necklace I’ve worn for nearly a decade hangs heavy around my neck, weighted down by secrets. My mother’s, my father’s… I can barely keep track, anymore.
My fingers itch to rip it off and toss it away, as it swings gently against my chest with each step — rhythmic little taps from a pendulum of lies. I contemplate calling my mother, demanding answers I’m not even sure I want to hear… but I can’t. This conversation isn’t one I can now, in the middle of a gala.
My heart races nearly as fast as the thoughts in my mind as I wander dazedly across the atrium. I’m almost back to the ballroom when I spot the front doors, leading out onto the street.
I freeze, staring at them, confronted with the ultimate choice.
I can flee.
I can pick up my dress and run out into the night, away from Vanessa’s words, from the half-sister I’ll never get a chance to love, from the necklace that now symbolizes a lifetime of lies.
I can do it.
But, I’ll also be running away from Chase.
And, I’m not sure when it happened, I’m not sure how it happened… but leaving him behind has become something I absolutely can’t live with.
So, I package up all the pretty little lies I’ve lived my life by in a box at the back of my mind. I take a deep breath, steady my shoulders… and I head into the ballroom. Because even if my world has morphed into a place I barely recognize anymore, even if nothing at all makes sense, even if I’m falling rapidly into