“What hot guy?” I kept my attention forward and my face straight.
“As if you don’t know. The hot guy who wants into your old lady panties.”
I giggled. “He does not.” He definitely did. “And yes, he was there. No big deal. I can be civil with him, even if I want to put him out of business.”
And just like that …
I donned my big girl pants (and old lady panties) and headed off to work.
Everything had samples that day.
Every flavor of sausage roll.
Every tub of cheese.
Every tin of popcorn.
Jellies.
Chocolates.
Candies.
Everything.
I played the holiday music extra loud. Wore a bigger smile. Exuded a brighter attitude. And I sold stuff.
I pulled customers off the street. Asked them about their day. Complimented little details like earrings, nail polish, handbags, and the sure winner—Wow! You’re looking good. It’s so nice to see you. Thanks for coming in today.
Kael sold products because he brought something new to Epperly, but it wasn’t olive oil and flavored vinegar. He brought his larger-than-life, genuinely kind personality.
I used to have that too. Then my marriage fell apart without anyone knowing. The passion for my husband died. And at the time, part of me died too.
After his fatal accident, I wanted out of Epperly. I needed to escape, but I couldn’t. So my heart wasn’t in it.
Until … Kael Hendricks.
He became my escape. And a stolen hour or two with him made it easier to breathe again. Smile more. Engage with friends and customers. And maybe … keep the family business alive.
By the time I arrived at the church that evening for our grief meeting, I felt ready to conquer the world.
“How is everyone’s week going?” Rhonda asked as we quieted our chatter to begin the meeting.
Some “goods” and “okays” followed. I threw out a “great.” Tillie Cunningham also tossed out a “great.” Hers was louder, grabbing everyone’s attention.
“Well…” Rhonda laughed “…looks like Tillie is going first.”
“I had a date.” Her face beamed as her posture straightened. “And I know everyone has been telling me to get back on the horse, but it’s been hard. It’s funny how we don’t listen to those closest to us. That used to frustrate me about my husband. I wondered why he married me when my opinion meant less than that of a complete stranger. Yet … I was talking to a customer at work a few weeks ago, and she suggested I do it. Make a date. I know … I know … all of you have been telling me this for months, and then one day a stranger suggests it and boom! It sinks in. I felt instant remorse for all the years I let that same trait in my husband irritate me.”
“Your date was with Kael! That’s right. Tell us all about it.” Bethanne reached over and patted Tillie’s leg.
The voice of reason told me to stay calm. Neutral. Unaffected.
“Okay. Yes. Well, I made him dinner. My white bean chili. He loved it. We talked about so many things, and it felt easy. I didn’t expect for it to feel so easy. But he has this calmness to him. It’s so inviting. Not once did I feel the need to unload my grief, which made me realize that maybe I’m no longer carrying around as much of it anymore. And the more we talked about our pastimes, places we’ve traveled, places we’d like to go … this connection started to build. I know it’s only been one date, but I have a good feeling about us.”
Us.
Her declaration of them as a couple completely squashed that voice of reason. I’d had a good day. I was strong and confident. But I wasn’t immune to all emotion—including that nagging jealousy.
“That is fantastic. Praise be to God,” Rhonda said. “You should invite him to church this Sunday.”
Tillie nodded. “I think I will. He’s not religious—well, anymore—but he’s such a good man. I can see him finding his way back and accepting Jesus Christ as his Savior. But once saved, always saved. So maybe he just needs a good church family—a little nudge.”
Satan lived inside of me. In a tiny room down the hall from the sanctuary doors, I sat idle with Satan lassoing my soul. Evil words formulated in my head. I couldn’t stop them from having a voice, even if I didn’t let that voice out to the group.
Kael wasn’t going to fall in line and confess his sins. He wasn’t going to