into that Mr. Nice Guy tone. A touch of sexy and a whole lot of compassion.
“Yes.”
“It’s hard to stay in control when you’ve denied those basic needs for so long.”
“Yes.”
“Well … then you had a good excuse for temporarily losing your mind. What was mine?” A little vulnerability leaked through his smile.
It held its own kind of sexy. It made me feel equally wanted. A handsome and ridiculously sexy man—twelve years my junior—wanting me in such a physical way.
“Does it have to make sense?”
Kael eased his head side to side.
“Does anyone have to know?”
Another subtle head shake.
“Does it have to mean anything?”
He didn’t respond, but the confident expression he held answered my question. Kael didn’t need a wife or a girlfriend. He didn’t need someone to keep him warm in bed. And he seemed perfectly content with that life.
I needed …
That was just it. I didn’t know what I needed. But after a night with Kael, needing nothing beyond the now—the present moment—felt really good.
Liberating.
Gratifying.
Limitless.
It magnified just how suffocated and trapped I’d felt the last few years of my marriage.
“I’m going to need more than the tip. So I hope you planned for the unexpected.”
“It’s sort of my motto.” His mouth quirked into a knowing grin.
My fingers unbuttoned my wool coat as he took purposeful steps toward me. I shrugged it onto the floor. His hands claimed my face first. I let myself melt into him, the warmth of his touch, the mint from the candy mixing in our long kiss.
The kiss.
I’d forgotten how amazing it felt to be kissed. To crave the taste of that person.
Our clothes dropped to the floor one piece at a time. My bare butt landed on the island, and he pushed into me as my limbs wrapped around him. We fucked. And it was glorious.
The profanity looping through my thoughts lost its taboo status. It wasn’t a word that made me recoil as it had for years. It was just a word—the best word to define our indulgent sexual act. I wasn’t searching for love or an emotional connection. That truth felt more sinful than the f-word circulating in my head.
I felt so many things as his mouth sucked my skin, as his hands caressed me intimately, as he moved inside of me.
Undeserving.
That was it. While I allowed myself into a bubble of pleasure, I felt a looming reality awaiting because I felt undeserving of stealing something so carnal, so private, so instinctual all for myself.
A drug that I didn’t truly need. It just felt so. Damn. Good.
If we were nothing more than souls in mortal bodies, why did taking such pleasure have to be filled with rules and tainted in shame?
Why couldn’t we let our brains and hearts love, but let our bodies feel the tangible things in life that made our hearts race, our skin tingle, and our muscles grip and pulse in immeasurable rapture?
Really?
Why the fuck not?
“I…” my lips brushed along his shoulder while he rocked into me, large hands keeping my ass from sliding off the edge of the granite “…hate how good this feels.” My ankles tightened around his waist as I chased that orgasm he’d been flirting with forever.
Forcing my hands around his neck to unclasp, he guided them behind my back and restrained them with one hand. My shoulders reared back in response, and he ducked his head to suck in my nipple.
“ARG!” I jerked as he bit it like a piranha. Total sadist.
But he rebounded with his free hand, sliding it between our joined bodies. My muscles spasmed, gripping him in tiny little pulses.
Blurred vision.
A sensual narcotic racing through my veins.
The pinnacle of physical pleasure.
It occurred to me that I might go to Hell, but I’d go there infinitely satisfied with my earthly experiences.
Kael freed my arms and stabbed his fingers into my hair, crashing his mouth to mine as he stilled with his release and a low moan I felt deep in my own chest. “There’s…” he panted, breaking our kiss and resting his cheek against mine while his fingers kept a firm claim to my hair “…nothing about you that’s not perfection.”
I chuckled, unlocking my legs from his waist as my left calf started to get a cramp. “That’s the orgasm talking.”
He pulled out of me slowly, resting his hands on my thighs. “Your legs are trembling.”
Rubbing my swollen lips together for a few breaths, I rested my hands on his. “Can’t imagine why.”
He leaned in and grinned before brushing his lips over mine.