I laughed. “Stumbled? I vented all my anger to my husband, he stormed out and died in a car accident, and you call that a stumble?”
Amie grabbed my arm and pulled me to a halt, facing her while Meadow tried to keep going by ripping off my other arm. “Everybody dies, Elsie. And few die at the perfect time … if there is such a thing. You want to talk about thievery? Let me introduce you to a little monster called regret. The last thing it wants is for you to be happy. If you let it, it will ravage your soul. There’s always more to be said, one last kiss, one last hug. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t walk out the door with anything unsettled. Don’t fucking blink. Don’t be human. If you live your life in fear, it’s not a real life. Fear will rob your joy. Regret will cripple your happiness. Let. It. Go.”
It had been a while since I cried over Craig, but Amie pulled a few tears out of me. “Maybe I don’t deserve joy and happiness.”
She released my arm and took a step back, slowly shaking her head. “Then drive your car off a bridge. Slit your writs. Put a bullet in your head. Find yourself worthy, or stop taking up space and stealing precious oxygen.”
Swallowing hard, my emotions doubled. Hot tears raced down my cold cheeks. Watery snot slid over my lips.
“You are loved, Elsie. And the people who love you want nothing more than for you to love yourself.” She pressed her mittens to my cheeks as redness filled her eyes. “Live, Elsie. Truly live.”
“K,” I managed past the lump in my throat just as she hugged me.
“And have sex. Lots of middle-aged, carefree, sex.”
My laugh came out as a partial sob.
“The cafe has hot cider today. I’m going to get one. Can I get you one too?” I asked Kandi as she stared aimlessly around the empty store.
We’d been open three hours and only one customer had come in … to return something.
“I’m good, but thanks.”
“I won’t be gone long.”
“Take your time.” She winced the second the words left her mouth.
The elephant in the room.
She could do the math. The shop was losing money … paying her to babysit an idle door.
I grabbed a hot cider and made a casual stroll around the square.
“Spying on your competition?”
“Jeez!” I jumped and some of my hot cider spit out from the lid.
Bella cringed at the cider on my gloved hand. “Sorry. Figured you heard me coming up behind you.”
“Well, I didn’t.” I wiped off my glove and licked the pooled cider on the lid. “Why aren’t you in school?”
“It was an early out day. Thought I’d help out at the shop, but you weren’t there. Kandi said you went for cider. And where are all the customers?”
“Here.” I scowled through the window of What Did You Expect? as we inched our way along the sidewalk.
“Jaden said the owner is hot. Let’s have a look.”
My arm dove for hers, but it was too late. She pulled open the door, drawing attention to us.
“Whoa …” she whispered as the enemy eyed us for a brief moment before returning his attention to the mile-long line of customers. “This place is so cool.”
“So cool. Sure, Bella. Because you know so much about spices, vinegars, and olive oils. It’s overpriced and impractical. Who wants vinegar in their Christmas stocking?”
Truth? I loved everything at his store. That was why I hated him so much. It was complicated.
“Well, they have chocolate.” She glanced over her shoulder and winked at me before plucking a sample square from the dish. “Mmm … better than sex.”
I pinched the skin on the back of her arm through her jacket.
“Ouch! What?”
“Could you lower your voice a few notches. And how would you know what sex is like?” I murmured close to her ear.
“Um … how do you think?” Bella scuffed her Ugg boots along the wood parquet floor.
“You’ve had sex?”
“Shh …” Bella hissed while continuing to peruse the aisles. “Now who needs to lower her voice?”
“Can I help you ladies with anything?”
I kept my back to Kael, but my sexually active teenager spun around and batted her eyelashes at him like I used to do to her dad.
“You must be Bella.” How awesome of him to remember her name.
“Yes.” She unzipped her jacket, pulled back her shoulders, thus shoving out