Not What I Expected - Jewel E. Ann Page 0,106

some ways the meaning or purpose of my life.”

I zipped my bag. “Either you are a true believer in this ‘solo tripping’ or you desperately want to get rid of me for a while.”

He sat up and pulled me to stand between his legs. I rested my hands on his shoulders, knowing he meant every word—wondering if my marriage would have ended had Craig valued my emotional health and championed my independence so much. The problem with marriage and most of the vows people made to each other was there weren’t the actions to back them up. It was like my kids apologizing all the time, but their actions didn’t reflect those apologies.

My wedding vows with Craig should have been more specific:

I promise to encourage you to take trips by yourself, not burp before kissing you, and always use complete sentences that don’t end in“ya know.”

“Love, honor, and cherish” were just too broad.

“I’m not broken,” Kael said.

“What do you mean?” I glided my hands up to his neck and teased the hair at his nape.

“I have as much capacity to love as any other human being. My choices don’t reflect my abilities. I’m not bad at love or broken. My feelings aren’t less intense or less sincere. It’s because I love you that I want you to love yourself. People love to quote Richard Bach’s ‘If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.’ But my philosophy is a little different. To me, the ultimate love is freedom. It’s not releasing someone; it’s respecting their right to never be caged in the first place, never belonging to anyone but yourself. When people so desperately want out of a marriage or relationship, that implies they feel imprisoned with a need to escape. I don’t want to ever be anyone’s prison.

“Stay or go. It should always be your choice, Elsie. It doesn’t mean you can’t have love or choose to be monogamous in your sexual … endeavors.” That irresistible smile overtook his whole face.

“Are you choosing to be monogamous in your sexual endeavors?” I trapped my lower lip between my teeth.

“Yes. You leave nothing of me for other women. And somehow you’ve managed to possess my thoughts even when we’re not together.”

Love was risky.

Life was risky.

But they were also exhilarating and meant to be experienced without the crippling fear of getting hurt. I had to risk it. I would embrace my choices and not hide them from my family or anyone else.

“My heart’s still learning to deal with these new feelings … new possibilities.”

His eyes narrowed. “Such as?”

“What if we don’t last?”

Kael nodded with careful consideration. “I get it because my heart can’t stop thinking … what if we do?”

* * *

The End

* * *

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If you enjoyed Not What I Expected, please consider leaving a review and check out Chapter One of Fortuity on the next page.

Preview of Fortuity

Chapter One

Why do the wrong people die?

The attorney offers a rehearsed smile, as if the cruise ship didn’t go up in flames. “Do you have any questions?”

My brother and his wife died, and they left me with their ten-year-old son, Gabriel.

Questions? Yes. I have so many questions.

Why didn’t they purchase more life insurance? Why couldn’t they have waited eight more years to die? I’m not implying I ever wanted them to die, but there’s something to be said for timing, especially in death.

“Kyle and Emily wanted you to live with Gabriel in their house. Keep him in the same school. Do as much as possible to not disrupt his life.”

“My nephew lost both of his parents. I think it’s a little late to not disrupt his life.”

“Of course.” Her smile slips from her face.

Pausing my temple-rubbing motions, I ease my gaze upward to meet that of the thirty-something brunette. I don’t know what to say.

“Her face resembles a wadded up piece of paper. The cringe isn’t a good look on her. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay in their house. You don’t have to move to San Diego. Gabriel is ten.

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