No Stranger to Scandal - By Rachel Bailey Page 0,59
you go now.”
He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I’ve made a mess of this from the start.”
“I fell in love with you, you know.” She spoke the words lightly, more of an observation than recrimination. It was fair that he knew.
His face drained of color as if she’d slapped him. “God, I’m sorry, Lucy. So sorry.”
Sorry? Her bottom lip trembled. If he said that word a third time she didn’t know if she could bear it. “It’s not your fault,” she said more sharply than she intended. “It’s mine.”
His gaze stayed fixed on her face, obviously not fooled for a moment. “One more reason I need to leave. Once I’m gone I won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”
Inside her everything screamed, just stay! Stay with me. But she refused to beg. If there had been a moment for him to declare he wanted to be with her, it was when she’d told him she loved him. He’d simply apologized.
She wouldn’t let the stinging at the back of her eyes turn into tears. All she had left was her dignity, and she was hanging on to that with everything inside her. She crossed to the sink and tipped the cold coffee out, then turned to face him, tranquil mask in place.
“So this is it,” she said, crossing her arms under her breasts.
“Yes.” He drummed the fingers of one hand on the side of his thigh. “I expect I’ll be seeing you on the TV. Probably as a news anchor, but realistically, as anything you want. You have talent, Lucy.”
After seeing what had become of Angelica, Marnie and Graham in the pursuit of ratings, the thought made her sick. “I don’t think my future is in broadcast journalism. I’ll be tendering my resignation to the new owner of ANS today.”
His gaze sharpened. “What will you do instead?”
“I don’t know. I think I’ll take a couple of months off and find out what I’d like to do with my life.” She was in no place right now to make life-changing decisions.
“Whatever you do, I know you’ll make a success of it.” The kind words, gently spoken, were almost harder to take than if he’d dismissed her plans. She pulled the sash of her robe tighter and held on to her composure by the most tenuous of threads.
“And you’ll do a great job with Josh,” she said truthfully. “He’s a lucky boy to have you as a father.” She was going to miss Josh like crazy. The little boy had wormed his way into her heart and even if she never saw him again, he’d always have a place there.
He nodded, then cleared his throat. “We need to go so we can make that flight.”
He stepped toward her and she turned away, unable to stand seeing him that near and not have him. “Lucy,” he whispered as he cupped the side of her face with his palm, then, without warning, he pulled her against him with his other hand and kissed her fiercely. The last shred of her control evaporated and she kissed him back just as hungrily. His fingers dug into her upper arms, and she welcomed the sensation, wanting to feel everything that was left for them. Lacing her fingers at the nape of his neck, she pulled down, never wanting to let him go, wishing the moment could last forever, holding him as tightly as she could. She felt her tears sliding down her cheeks and mingling with their kiss but was helpless to stop them. When his hand gripped her knee and urged it up, she wrapped a leg around his waist, desperate with the need to be closer.
Too soon, he wrenched his mouth away and rested his forehead on hers, panting. Then, without a word, he placed a brief kiss on her forehead, picked up a smiling Josh and walked down the hall. Eyes squeezed shut, she listened to his footsteps fading as they got farther away, until her front door opened and closed. Only then did she slide down the cupboards to the floor and let the tears fall unrestrained.
Twelve
Holding the fracturing parts of herself together by sheer force of will a couple of hours later, Lucy walked through the heavy door a guard held open for her into a cold and drab pale green room. Graham was already waiting for her, seeming much smaller—shorter, even—with his shoulders hunched down, his lack of expansive movements. Unlike his usual warm greeting, his eyes were studiously locked on