No Good Deed - Marie Sexton Page 0,105

feel uneducated or inferior. It was one of the things Will adored about him.

The place grew louder. Hockey and basketball filled the TV screens, and between those and the patrons cheering for their teams, Will had the perfect excuse to move closer to Rob. But when Rob finally peeked at the watch under the cuff of his suit jacket, Will’s heart jerked in alarm.

The night was slipping away from him, and he still hadn’t said what he’d come here to say.

He took a deep breath. “Rob, can I ask you something?”

Robert had relaxed by now, and he smiled. “Of course. You can ask me anything.”

It took Will a minute to gather his courage. “I come here twice a week just to see you. I like talking to you. I enjoy spending time with you.” Robert’s hand rested on the table between them. Will didn’t quite take it but let his fingertips linger on the back of Robert’s wrist. “I guess I was hoping to spend time with you someplace else tonight.”

Robert’s cheeks were bright red, his shoulders tense. “Where?”

Will hesitated. Robert had to see where he was headed with this, but he looked more scared then excited. “Well, I don’t know. Dinner, I guess. And then…” He swallowed hard. Shrugged, trying to act as if it were only a casual suggestion. “My place, maybe?”

Robert jerked his hand away from Will’s touch. He stared down at the tabletop, looking like he might be near tears.

Will’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. He’d imagined a dozen different responses to this question, but this hadn’t been one of them. “I’m sorry. Did I misread the situation? After all the time we’ve spent together, I thought we were on the same page.”

“No.” Rob stopped short, lowering his voice. “I mean, no, you didn’t misread. I just…uh, I don’t think…the two of us…” He sighed. “Jesus, I don’t know how to say this.”

Will backed up, an ugly suspicion suddenly bursting from its hiding place. “Is this because I’m black?”

Robert’s head came up fast, his eyes wide. “What? William, no! For God’s sake, please don’t think that’s why I’m hesitating.”

He seemed sincere, but Will couldn’t imagine what else would have Robert backing off so suddenly. “Then what is it?” he asked.

Robert put his hands over his face. “I don’t even know how to say it without sounding like a prude. But I guess I’d rather you laugh at me for that than think I’d reject you over your race.”

Will wasn’t sure if Robert’s words were making him feel better or worse about the situation. “I’ll try not to laugh. How about that?”

Robert took a drink of his wine, as if for courage. He took a deep breath. Finally, he slid his hand across the table. He rested his hand on the cuff of Will’s leather jacket. “It’s this.”

Will sat perfectly still, too confused to formulate a response.

“I don’t know what this means,” Robert said quietly.

“Are you talking about the leather?”

“Yes.” Now that he was talking, Robert seemed less embarrassed. “I know you’re part of that club with Charlie. And I’m afraid…”

Will leaned closer. Robert’s long fingers still rested on his sleeve, and it was easy to turn his hand over and take Robert’s hand in his. “Afraid of what? Of me?”

Robert almost smiled. “Maybe not afraid but…intimidated, I guess. My sex life up to this point has been embarrassingly vanilla. I don’t know what you’ll expect of me. I’m afraid I won’t be…” He stared up at the ceiling. “Interesting enough, I suppose. I’m afraid you’ll be bored. Or disgusted. Or…” He sighed. “Disappointed.” He winced. “Yes. That’s definitely the word I’m looking for. I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed, and then I’ll never see you again.”

Will laughed. He couldn’t help himself. And when Robert tried to pull his hand away, he held on tight. “No, wait. Rob, I’m not laughing at you. Or maybe I am, but please don’t take it the wrong way.”

Robert stilled, his cheeks still red, his jaw tight.

At least Will understood the problem now. In hindsight, maybe he should have anticipated it. They’d talked about almost everything—family, politics, religion, coming out during the AIDS crisis—but Robert had always skirted discussions of sex, blushing before changing the subject.

Will scooted closer, still holding his hand. “Look, we’re almost the same age. You know how it was for us. The ’80s and ’90s were a different time. Back then, I couldn’t have walked into any bar in town dressed in leather like I do here. I couldn’t