No Dream Is Too High - Buzz Aldrin Page 0,53
remember her.”
“Well, I’m sorry to bother you, but I can’t help but wonder what my mom lost by giving up on you, her perfect man.”
“Perfect? Sure, I’m a famous astronaut, decorated fighter pilot, doctorate through MIT, but even I sometimes …” Distracted, I break off in mid-sentence, go to the windows, and address the Moon in the sky. “I see you! I see what you’re doing. Return to the night! You’ve no business here.”
“Are you yelling at the Moon?” Liz asks.
“I’m sorry … she and I just … I get mad sometimes.”
“Sure …”
“Look, do you want to know what your mother missed? Years of drinking, depression, cheating. I flipped over a Saab in the San Fernando Valley. I once woke up in the Air and Space Museum with a revolver in the waistband of my jean shorts!”
“Oh, my god, but you were a …”
“A human being,” I interrupt Liz, “but I’m at peace now, sober almost 32 years. But I would have put Maggie Freeman through hell.”
Liz sighs in frustration.
“There’s no such thing as astronaut Mike Dexter. What am I doing?”
“I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you,” I say to Liz. “Would you like to yell at the Moon with Buzz Aldrin?”
“Yes! Please.”
Liz and I go to the large windows facing the cityscape and raise our faces toward the Moon, even though it’s broad daylight.
“I own you!” I yell at the Moon.
“You dumb Moon!” Liz agrees, shaking her fist at the Moon.
“I walked on your face!”
“Don’t you know it’s day? Idiot!” Liz adds.
I loved working with Tina Fey. She is bright, talented, and so much fun. And she is cute, too. When Tina was asked to contribute a photo for a book about New York, choosing something that was iconically New York, she included a photo of the two of us on the set of 30 Rock. It was definitely one of my favorite sitcoms on which I appeared.
I ALWAYS ENJOY spoofing myself. I made a cameo appearance on the CBS television hit The Big Bang Theory, a show that finds humor in the lives of a group of astrophysicists, engineers, and physicists. In the episode, Raj wants to pop Howard’s balloon a bit and bring him back to Earth, since he has become obnoxiously boastful about traveling into space as an astronaut. Besides wearing a NASA shirt every day and passing out eight-by-ten glossies of himself in uniform, Howard has developed an annoying habit of turning every conversation toward space. I cannot imagine why they wanted me in this segment!
Howard’s wife, Bernadette, confronts him about his bloviating, but rather than accepting the critique graciously, Howard becomes defensive, disappointed that his wife and friends are dumping on his great achievements. Raj sends a video link to Howard, ostensibly featuring me passing out trick-or-treat candy to kids coming to my door. The role had me boasting about my accomplishments as an astronaut every time I handed out a piece of Halloween candy, somehow connecting each treat to my experiences in space.
I hand the first little boy a Milky Way candy bar as I explain, “There you go; it’s a Milky Way. The Milky Way is a galaxy in space.” I point at my chest and say, “I’ve been in space.”
To a little girl, I say, “It’s a Mars bar,” as I give her the candy. “I’m an astronaut.”
When the third child approaches, a slightly older boy dressed as a fireman, I hand him a MoonPie and say, “This one’s a MoonPie! I’ve walked on the Moon.” I hold my hands out as though begging for an answer and ask, “What have you done with your life?”
After the third over-the-top trick-or-treat exchange, Howard sheepishly turns to Bernadette and admits, “Okay, I get it.”
E! Entertainment Television declared my cameo as “one of the funniest, yet shortest, guest spots in BBT history.”
My role on the show wasn’t completely accurate. Contrary to bragging about landing on the Moon, I’ve always been quite conscious of the fact that I was simply the right guy in the right place at the right time. I’ve always felt fortunate to have had the tremendous opportunity afforded me—lucky to have been born an American, lucky to have been selected as an astronaut, and lucky to have been part of the initial crew to land on another celestial body. Of course, the humorous point was not lost on me that I can easily become too verbose when talking about space. Howard, I get it, too!
EVEN WHEN I’M NOT on television, I occasionally