your cash. So it was perfectly natural that Jessica’s first thought when she walked into the apartment that day was: Lucy.
She’d tried so hard not to say it but she couldn’t help it. Just that one word. She wished she could take it back. She hadn’t made it sound enough like a question. She’d made it sound like a statement. She wished she’d at least said, “Lucy?”
She remembered how Ben shook his head. His face was drawn tight with shame.
She had thought, How do you know it wasn’t her?
But it turned out he was right. The robbery had nothing to do with Lucy. She was on the other side of the country at the time.
So it was just an ordinary happens-to-lots-of-people house robbery. They hadn’t lost much because they didn’t have much to lose: an old iPad with a cracked screen, a necklace that Ben had given Jessica for her twenty-first. It had a tiny diamond pendant and it had cost Ben something like two months’ salary. She’d loved that necklace and still mourned it, even though it had just been a crappy little necklace with a smidge of a diamond, like a quarter carat. The thieves had rejected the rest of Jessica’s jewelry box, which she found humiliating. Jessica and Ben had both hated the feeling of knowing that someone had walked through their home, sneering, as if browsing through an unsatisfactory shop.
The insurance company paid out without much fuss, but that wasn’t the point.
It was just an ordinary robbery, except that it ended up changing their lives forever.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” asked Ben. He stood at the end of the bed, looking down at her.
Jessica’s gaze came back into focus. “Like what?”
“Like you’re planning to cut off my balls with a cheese knife.”
“What? I wasn’t even looking at you. I was thinking.”
He kept chewing the remains of his apple and raised an eyebrow. The very first time they ever made eye contact in Mr. Munro’s maths class he did that: a cool, laconic lift of his left eyebrow. It was literally the hottest thing she’d seen in her entire life and maybe if he’d raised two eyebrows, instead of one, she wouldn’t have fallen in love with him.
“I don’t even have a cheese knife,” said Jessica.
He smiled as he threw the apple core into the bin from across the room and picked up their welcome pack.
“We’d better read this, hey?” He ripped open the envelope and papers went flying. Jessica managed to stop herself from grabbing at it and putting it all back in order. She was the one in charge of paperwork. If it were up to Ben they would never file a tax return.
He opened what looked like a cover letter. “Okay, so this is a ‘guide map’ for our ‘wellness journey.’”
“Ben,” said Jessica, “this isn’t going to work if we don’t—”
“I know, I know, I am taking it seriously. I drove down that road, didn’t I? Didn’t that show my commitment?”
“Oh, please don’t start on the car again.” She felt like crying.
“I only meant—” His mouth twisted. “Forget it.”
He scanned the letter and read out loud. “Welcome to your wellness journey, yada, yada. The retreat will begin with a period of silence lasting five days, during which there will be no talking, apart from counseling sessions, no touching, no reading, no writing, no eye contact with other guests or your own companions—what the?”
“This wasn’t mentioned on the website,” said Jessica.
Ben continued to read out loud, “You may be familiar with the term ‘monkey brain.’”
He looked up at Jessica. She shrugged, so he kept reading. “Monkey brain refers to the way your mind swings from thought to thought like a monkey swinging from branch to branch.” Ben made a sound like a monkey and scratched under his arm to demonstrate.
“Thanks for that.” Jessica felt the tug of a smile. Sometimes they were fine.
Ben read on. “It takes at least twenty-four hours to silence monkey brain. A period of nourishing silence and reflection settles the mind, body, and soul. Our aim will be to discover a beautiful state that Buddhism calls ‘noble silence.’”
“So we’re just going to spend the next five days avoiding eye contact and not talking?” said Jessica. “Even when we’re alone in our room?”
“It’s not like we don’t have any experience with that,” said Ben.
“Very funny,” said Jessica. “Give me that.”
She took the letter and read. “During the silence we request that you walk slowly and mindfully, with intention, heel-to-toe,