“You are not all right,” he concluded. “Talk to me, Leah.” He drew the covers up over her back and wrapped his arms more securely around her. “Please, talk to me.”
“I bore Aaron Frommer a son.”
Eleven
Again, Nick’s hands went still on Leah’s back.
“I’m listening,” he said, angling his head to kiss her temple. Those two words were offered in what had to be the gentlest, kindest tone Leah had ever heard, and her resolution faltered.
“Aaron was a good man,” Leah said, “but he had not one tenth your skill with the ladies, Nick. He cared for me, though, and so I was pleased to find I carried his child. He would have been pleased as well.”
Nick apparently divined the argument she was about to make. “While I can’t be pleased to think my child might cost your life.”
“I bore my son easily, Nick. I labored but a few hours, and he was born with a perfect complement of fingers and toes.”
“Where is your child now, Leah?” Nick asked, his hands moving again, more slowly than ever.
“In heaven.” Leah took a shuddery breath. “He caught a fever when he was little past a year. I went into town to fetch the doctor, the midwife, the healer, anybody who might have been able to help. My Italian was far better than my brother’s, and by the time I returned a few hours later, my baby was gone. Darius gave me some time to grieve, but brought me back to England shortly thereafter. My mother was asking for me, and I did very much miss her.”
“I am so sorry.” Nick gathered her close, rolled, and blanketed her with his naked body. “I am so very, very sorry.”
He stayed there, over her, sheltering her and holding her until Leah was holding him in return and letting tears long repressed pour from her. She clung, and cried, and clung some more, until her grief was spent and her body too wrung out to cling anymore.
“I’ll be right back.” Nick kissed her nose and eased from her embrace. He brought her a glass of water, watching while she drained about a quarter of it, then helped himself as well. He set the glass aside and turned serious blue eyes on her.
“You will marry me?” he asked, expression pensive.
“I will. But there won’t be any of this pleasuring, Nicholas.”
“Move over.” He shifted and climbed under the covers with her. When she kept to her own space, Nick flopped to his side, curled his body around hers, and wrapped her in his arms.
“You did not enjoy what we did?” he asked, his cheek resting over her temple.
“My body was very favorably impressed,” Leah said, glad he could not see her face. “I’ve never known such sensations, Nicholas, and for that, I must thank you.”
“You’re thanking me, and now you’re willing to marry me, but you do not want to repeat the experience?”
“I do not.”
“Was it… me?”
“Nicholas?”
He shifted, his nose against her nape. “I’ve been told stallions are less vulgarly crafted than I am in my aroused state.”
“God above, Nicholas.” Leah glared at him over her shoulder. “You are the envy of every man, of this I can be sure, and you are the most magnificent dream of any honest woman. But in a sense, it is you that troubles me.”
He huffed out a sigh against her neck. “You want more from me than pleasuring.”
“I have more from you,” Leah reminded him. “You’ve told me I have your respect, your affection, I will have your title, and I do have your protection.”
“So what does that leave? And for the love of God, don’t reply that if I have to ask, you aren’t going to let me know the right answer.”
“I’m not sure,” Leah said, and she wasn’t being coy. “But whatever it is, it is important, and it was missing from this demonstration of your very impressive bedroom skills, Nicholas.”
“And it wasn’t missing with Frommer?” Nick asked, his voice betraying his frustration.
“It very likely was, but I had not the sense or the experience to know it.”
She drifted off to sleep while Nick pondered her words in silence. As sleep tugged at his brain, Nick tried to reason out why he should take a miniscule comfort from her words.
Leah had been willing to settle for Lord Aaron, just to escape her father.
No. Nick backed up and reconsidered.
Leah had been willing to settle for Lord Aaron on Lord Aaron’s terms, he clarified. Eloping, anticipating vows,