Never Slow Dance with a Zombie - By E. Van Lowe Page 0,2

She stared at me all wide-eyed and innocent. It was as if Sybil had moved here from Mars three years ago instead of Monrovia, California. She had no idea about high school protocol. A jock like Dirk Conrad, a senior, would never date me. Aside from not being Heidi Klum, I wasn't a member of the pool of girls that jocks at our school normally went out with. Unfortunately, Amanda-- gag!- Culpepper was. Not that I cared.

I did appreciate that Sybil saw me as this amazing person who could run in any circle, fit in anywhere, and do almost anything. But she shouldn't get delusional about it.

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"I think you should ask him to go to the carnival Thursday night," she suddenly said.

"Huh? Ask who?"

"Why, Dirk Conrad, of course."

And the delusion continues.

"Are we talking about the real Dirk Conrad or the benchmark Dirk Conrad? Because the real Dirk Conrad doesn't even know I exist."

"He doesn't know you exist yet. But he will." She smiled and leaned in. There was conspiracy in her eyes. "The carnival is a Sadie Hawkins event."

"I know."

"That means girls can ask boys."

"I know."

"His Facebook page says he doesn't have a date yet."

"I know!" Panic was beginning to rise in the pit of my stomach as I realized where the conversation was headed.

"The worst he can say is no."

"Uh-uh! No way!"

Didn't she get what a no from Dirk Conrad could mean? "No is a powerful word and not to be taken lightly, Syb. If Amanda and her Twigettes found out Dirk declined my invitation I'd be a laughingstock."

'I thought you weren't obsessed with Amanda."

"I'm not. But there's no sense in inviting ridicule."

"Margot, if we're ever going to make the manifesto a reality we have to start somewhere."

She was right about that. If I was going to keep from being a total high school washout I needed to accomplish something on the list.

"I could get a car," I suddenly said. "That's on the list."

17

"You crossed it out. I think it was because of how hysterically your father laughed when you ran the idea past him."

"True. He laughed himself into an asthma attack. But now that I'm thinking about it, a car is way more realistic than dating Dirk." I erased the cross-out mark.

"There. Now we've got something to shoot for," I said, brushing eraser crumbs from the manifesto. "You know, I think we should sign up for driver's ed next semester. If I get a car, one of us should know how to drive it."

"What if I ask him for you?"

Instinctively I stiffened. Was I hearing correctly? "Why would you do that?"

"We're best friends, Margot. And I know you'd like to go out with him."

"Well... yeah." I swallowed hard.

"There you have it. What are best friends for if not to do cool stuff for each other?"

Some days it seemed as if Sybil really was from Mars. Best friends rarely do cool stuff for each other at our age. High school is where best friends sometimes stab each other in the back.

"What do you think?" she asked, smiling up at me.

What I thought was, No Earth girl can be this naive. But of course, I didn't say that. At first, I was going to remind her that she was as shy as I was when it came to boys--shyer even. But all of a sudden, I was finding it hard to concentrate. The idea of going to the carnival with Dirk had invaded my thoughts. And I have to admit, I liked the invasion.

"And you don't have to worry about any embarrassment," she continued. "If he says no, he'll be saying no to me."

"But why would he say yes? He doesn't even know me."

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"Dirk is so cute, I'll bet every girl at school is afraid to ask him out. They're probably all thinking, He'll never go to the carnival with me."

"That's pretty much what I was thinking."

"I know, but don't you see? Poor Dirk will probably spend Thursday night home alone because everyone is too chicken to ask him out Everyone, but you."

Her argument was making sense. Still, I had my doubts. "I don't know, Syb "

'Imagine the look on Amanda Culpepper's face when you show up at the carnival with Dirk."

And just like that, I didn't have so many doubts.

"Amanda and her twigs will be sooo jealous," she sang.

Amanda Culpepper jealous of me?

This was worth considering.

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Chapter Two

The following morning I still couldn't get the thought of Amanda being jealous of me off my mind. I imagined her envious eyes