her where they were and then he’d kiss those spots and tell them goodnight. The first time he did, she’d been reduced to a crying mess. “And here.” She smiled when he did it again.
“Be nice to your mama,” he said to them. That simple directive showed her exactly how worried he was.
“Ethan, I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“This,” she said, her eyes showing him as they made their way around the ambulance.
“Oh, suga. This is out of your control. This isn’t your fault.”
“It isn’t?” she asked incredulously. She had wondered on more than one occasion how her past drug and alcohol use would come back to haunt her. Was this one of those times? “I don’t like making you worry.”
“Mia, I worry every day, about everything. Some things more than others. It’s who I am.”
“I know that. This is why I don’t like to add to it.”
He left her belly and caressed her lips with his so softly, so tenderly, she felt the heavy weight upon her chest shrink.
“This calms me down,” she said peacefully, wanting to lose herself in this moment with him.
“Until you get turned on.”
She laughed with him. How well her husband knew her body. “So true.”
He lifted his eyes from her, a look of concentration on his face and then the ambulance stopped. “Looks like we’re here.”
Mia felt the nerves come back now that his lips were no longer on her. Time to find out what was wrong. The paramedics opened the doors and pulled the stretcher out and they were met by a couple of doctors. They spoke quietly to the paramedics so Mia couldn’t hear what they said.
“Get them into Room Three,” the male doctor ordered and then addressed the doctor across from him. “Then find a private room for her out of the E.R.”
“No special treatment needed,” Mia spoke up.
The doctor’s face came into her view with his tanned face and bright, white smile. “The moment we bring you in, it will be chaos, especially with your husband all moody and stuff,” he added with a wink.
“I’m not moody,” Ethan piped up, sounding very agitated.
“It’s for the benefit of everyone in that E.R. that we get you to somewhere private, okay?”
She nodded at the doctor and then they burst through the doors. The noise level went through the roof and Mia felt herself tense up even more. They hurried her into a room and with ease transferred her to the bed. With all the activity around her, she couldn’t see Ethan. She needed her husband.
“Mia,” the doctor said, “I want to check on those babies, okay?”
Her clothes were adjusted and the warm gel was applied to her stomach, followed by the ultrasound wand. The grating squeak of shoes on the floor was all she heard. No whoosh of a beating baby heart. The sound of those shoes made her feel like she was surrounded by a wall of hi-def speakers blaring a basketball game from court level. It hurt her ears and she wanted it gone. She tried to cover her ears but her body was held down. Her eyes frantically scanned the room for Ethan. She needed to see him, but couldn’t, and that freaked her out even more. He grounded her and she so desperately needed that right now.
“Her blood pressure is rising. One seventy over ninety-five.”
“Where’s my husband?” she yelled through the panic.
“I’m right here, Mia,” came his beautiful voice.
“I can’t see you. I need to focus on you. Please!” she begged. He moved into her sight and she smiled. “Stay where I can see you.”
“Mia, are you prone to panic attacks?” the doctor asked.
“Yes,” she confirmed.
“Right now?” he asked, taking her wrist in his hand, like he was taking her pulse.
“Yes. Earlier, no, but definitely one right now.”
“Why?”
“All the activity. I’m scared. The goddamn screeching of the shoes.”
“Everyone leave the room except Dr. Moore,” the doctor ordered before directing his attention to her again. “I want you to breathe for me. Calming breaths, okay? You know what I want you to do.”
Of course she did, having done this more often than she cared for. “Okay,” she said, then took a couple long, deep breaths, feeling the air fill her lungs. “What’s your name?” she asked, after a few rounds of breathing.
“Sorry. I’m Dr. Garrabrant, but everyone calls me Dr. G.”
“Dr. G, how are my babies?”
Instead of answering, he stood above her and breathed with her, making sure she did that instead of talking. When she continued without him, he spoke. “They are