I still have my appointment in two weeks. I’ll be down then.
You ignored my question.
I did not.
Whatever.
Did you just whatever me?
I did.
Hmpf.
Why do we have to be apart any longer?
Mia knew what he wanted—to talk but she wasn’t sure if she was ready.
I don’t know.
Why don’t you know, Mia?
I’m confused, okay? I don’t know what to do.
It felt weird to be so honest about that, to tell her husband how she felt. But if they were going to survive, she needed to do more of it.
We had a great weekend together, Mia. Better than great.
I know and that confuses me. I enjoyed myself—a lot. Well … except for our little shouting match and maybe not all the insight into my past. But yeah, that weekend was close to perfect.
I was happy to learn more about your past. Even if it was a tad uncomfortable.
Told you!
But I still saw your pain. You carried it with you all the time back then. I didn’t see that until I saw the video. You look different without the pain, suga.
Maybe that’s just age …
That too. You are a beautiful woman.
You say that after seeing the stoned me? The drunk me?
All that past made the woman I love today.
“Oh,” she said aloud, reading his words over again. She chewed on her bottom lip while the tears came to her eyes and spilled hotly over her cheeks. She was not indifferent to his love. It made her feel good. It still made her happy. She felt lighter. Freer.
Before she could respond, he sent another text.
It’s been a long time since I felt that connected to you.
What do you mean?
Well, I felt like I understood you better and I liked that—a lot. I mean, I like your mystery but I like it even better when I find things out. I can try to put the pieces together. I really had no idea just how serious you and Luke were. I thought it was a casual thing that turned into friendship but you really did love him.
I did. I love him still.
I know that. I heard you tell him at your party.
You did?
Yes.
And?
I’m not upset. I mean, yes, it did freak me out a little. I’m not going to lie.
How long were you there?
Uh …
Ethan!
She frantically tried to remember all that she and Luke had discussed. Had they mentioned the pregnancy? She wondered if Ethan heard her say that she still loved him.
What were you scared of?
She knew she couldn’t lie to him. He obviously was there after the admission of love. He heard her words but she now needed to tell him.
That you and I wouldn’t make it. That what we have together isn’t enough. I realized I wanted it to work and I’m afraid that we can’t fix it.
You want it to work?
Of course I do, Ethan! I just don’t know if it’s going to work. I’m not as optimistic as you.
My optimism is based off you. I had no idea until a couple minutes ago that you actually wanted it to work out for us. I am definitely more optimistic now.
She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face, envisioning him all flustered and excited, a smile of his own breaking out on his face. The smile that could still make her knees weak.
So, Mia, the ball, so to speak, is in your court. What do you want us to do?
Talk.
She was going to take Luke’s advice because she was finally beginning to realize Ethan needed her to do that. She also needed to know what was going on with him. At the party, as they sat on her front steps, she’d seen the broken Ethan. “I was not a confident man when I cheated on you. I was an insecure coward.”
Good plan.
I had help with it.
Yeah I knew that :)
How much did you hear, Ethan?
We both have a lot to say to each other.
He knew she was hiding something. And he was not going to ask. He was going to let her tell him—in her own time.
We do.
Ethan, this scares me.
I know, suga. Me too.
You’re scared?
It happens. More often than you know.
She’d always known he was a worrier. That’s why she spared him a lot of what she had been thinking, but look where that had gotten them. But they were talking now. Really talking.