asks you but I haven’t heard from him in days. Must really miss me. We’re supposed to get married in two weeks. Where the hell has he been?” More tears began to well up but I blinked them back. I was so tired of crying. I can’t believe I even still had tears left to cry.
“Well, come with me and you guys can talk. He just doesn’t know what to do anymore. He feels lost in all this Mace. I know you are too but can you blame him?” She began pouting and I knew she was right. This was driving me crazy sitting here. I know I needed a night out. A normal night out hanging with my best friend was exactly what I needed. And I wanted to see Trevor, I missed him terribly.
“Let me get dressed and we’ll go.” I wore a weak smile letting her know I was happy but I also really still wanted to sit around like a bump on a log. She practically threw her arms around my neck.
“Yay!! I’m so excited!!” She ran back to her room and began getting dressed.
I walked to my closet and dug out my faithful blue jean skirt. I threw that one with a pink sequin fitted tee. I threw on my flip flops for added comfort. There was no one to impress in there for me. I looked into the mirror and let out another weak smile. I could do this. I could face everyone at The Lounge and get back to my old life with Trevor. We could try again for a baby once we got married and were settled down. I put my ring on and my charm bracelet before I ran the straightener through a few stray ends of my hair. I hadn’t worn either the ring or the bracelet since the miscarriage but I looked at them every day to cheer me up. Halley came walking back in my room whistling at me. I laughed and whistled back at her. She had a pair of jeans on with a silver sequin top.
“Hales, will you please do my makeup? I haven’t done it in forever I don’t want to mess it up.” There hadn’t been any make up on my face since all this happened. I never left the house so I didn’t see the need to put any on. It all sat on my vanity in the same place it always sat, untouched.
“Of course I can!” She stood in front of me applying my eyeliner, mascara, and foundation as if her life depended on it. I knew she was so excited I was finally getting out of this apartment and that she was the one who was getting me out. I put my own lip gloss on and blew a kiss into the mirror. Ready or not here I come.
We headed out the door and got in my car. We sang along to the radio like old times and I just knew deep down that I had made a good decision and this was going to be a good night. I parked the car and we walked in. Gary came up to me and hugged me. “Good to see you out kiddo. Have a few drinks on me tonight and enjoy yourself. I love you.”
“Thanks Gary.” I gave him a hug back and a big smile. “It’s good to be back.”
He walked behind the bar and handed us each a shot that we threw back immediately. It felt so good going down. I ordered a crown and coke and began looking for Trevor. He was nowhere in sight. Marcus came up to me and gave me a hug. “It’s good to see you back Mace.”
I grinned and replied after taking a big sip of my drink, “Thanks, it’s good to be back. Hey have you seen Trevor?”
“He’s around here somewhere.” He waved his hand all around the bar indicating he could be anywhere in here. Good thing this place wasn’t huge.
“Ok, thanks.”
He hugged Halley and they began kissing. Barf. I made a face and scanned the crowd for Trevor. I began walking around taking in all the familiar surroundings of this place that I’ve missed and as I got closer to the stage, I prayed my eyes were seeing wrong. I wasn’t seeing this. I could not be seeing this at all. If this was real, I was really going to lose my shit in a very ugly way.