Never Always Sometimes - Adi Alsaid Page 0,78

stood frozen, his eyes downcast. “I don’t want my grades to

drop too much, Jules. UCLA can pull my scholarship.”

“They’re not gonna drop, Dave.” She took a few steps back toward

him. A group of girls sneered at them as they walked by and though

Julia had no idea who they were, she had that sudden rush of guilt

that had been seizing her lately, that I-broke-up-Dave-and-Gretchen

guilt. “Come on. Your grades are fine.” She put a hand on his side and

pulled herself to him, raising up on her toes to kiss him gently. “Your

girlfriend wants to do stuff with you.”

The second bell rang out, and the sound of doors shutting echoed

down the hallway. Dave attempted a smile, but his eyes went over her

shoulder, toward the one place she wanted to get away from. “I’m sorry.

I think we have a quiz today.” Now he initiated a kiss, but it had the

distinct taste of a kiss good-bye.

Before, when Julia had dreamed about love, this is what it looked

like:

Like two sprinters making their way around a track. Spurts of

energy followed by collapsing into a heap on the ground. Sweaty arms

laid across chests, big, gulping breaths of air. Love traveled, it ran, it covered ground, eager to see more, do more. It was two people keeping

pace with each other.

DAVE & JULIA 263

OFF

DAVE SAT WITH Julia in homeroom, connected to her by the white

cord of Julia’s earphones. They hadn’t said anything yet, though they’d

smiled hello at each other, noticed the matching circles beneath their

eyes. Dave was looking at the calendar on the wall, trying to recall

exactly when things had happened. The day they’d found the Nevers,

the hair dying fiasco, Julia’s slam poem. It had felt like ages had gone by, but it had only been a matter of weeks.

Without warning, the Jell-O feeling had returned. Maybe because

they’d crossed off almost all the Nevers. It was only 8:06 in the morning and there were six hours left watching that clock and silently begging

teachers not to make him do too much. The second hand came into

focus, and it moved glacially. There were still four weeks of school left, and the way it was going he had no idea if his life could handle that.

Fourteen years of schooling, and the weight of every single day was

suddenly compressed into this one homeroom period. He looked over

at Julia, who was breathing softly, eyes closed. There was something

keeping him from going over and unburdening the desperation with

her, the way he’d always done. He didn’t know how to behave around

her at school anymore, like there was some sort of fuzz between the

two of them that kept things from being exactly how they always had

been.

Only a tick or two had gone by. Every second carried with it an entire

lifetime of academic obligations, even if at this particular moment he

was just sitting there listening to music. There was so much of it still left, time in school, it never ended, never moved. Dave was going to die within four walls just like these, wasn’t he?

Dave pulled out his earphone, whispered, “Bathroom,” and walked

out of class, trying to calm himself down. He reminded himself that

there were only four weeks left of school, and right away he knew that

this wasn’t about school at all. This was about Julia. Something was

wrong.

If he could put his finger on it he’d instantly flick the thing away,

whatever it was. Because it was pesky and stupid and small. But things

just didn’t add up. They still laughed. The kissing was incredible.

They’d always spent the majority of their time together, so it wasn’t

like it was weird to suddenly be in bed all afternoon with her.

Dave got himself a drink of water, lingered by the fountain for as

long as he could, then went back to class. Julia’s head was still on her desk, the earphone he’d pulled out dangling over the edge of the table.

For once, Ms. Romero had the bulletin board up and the attention

of a handful of kids. Taking his place beside Julia again, Dave made

sure to keep his eyes off the clock. He took the earphone but kept it

in his hand, fiddling with the cord as he pretended to listen to Ms.

Romero go on about whatever. Then he looked down at Julia, whose

DAVE & JULIA 265

eyes were open, fixed on him. He smiled and brought the earphone up,

and when she simply closed her eyes again the feeling that something

was wrong came back.

AP Chem, right before lunch. Ever since the beach, Dave had been

sitting at the front of the class, keeping his back turned the entire

period