Never Always Sometimes - Adi Alsaid Page 0,40

work up to that.

Tonight we’ll just make out and cuddle.” She poked his stomach, then

took off her hoodie, revealing a gray tank top with a band logo on it.

And, of course, she looked fantastic, and of course, at that same moment his phone buzzed in his pocket, undoubtedly a text from Gretchen.

They got out of the car and walked up the driveway to the front

door, Dave crinkling the foil on the cupcakes because crinkling foil was DAVE 133

something small and simple to focus on as opposed to the turmoil of

his contradicting desires. Julia had a bounce to her step as they reached the door, and she took a deep breath before ringing the bell. “You think I should have attached some sort of letter? Something cute?”

Dave shrugged. “I think if he doesn’t get the picture by now, a love

letter won’t help.” He thought about the love letter he’d written Julia

sophomore year, how he’d thought that he couldn’t handle it anymore.

The fever with which he’d written the letter. How he didn’t have the

heart to reread it for fear he’d never be happy enough with the words

and what they conveyed. He’d carried it around in his backpack for

weeks, each day convinced that this was it, this was the day he finally

came clean, so nervous he couldn’t eat all day, his palms actually

sweating, his hands shaking when taking notes in class. Every day he

decided against it, or rather wasn’t able to reach into the pocket in his backpack and hand it over to her, unable to imagine standing there as

she read it, equally unable to imagine walking away before she could.

The fear that it would irrevocably change things overruled anything

else. He’d moved it to a drawer in his bedroom, then hidden it in the

pocket of a jacket he never wore, then finally torn it into unreadable bits and let them flutter into the trash can thinking, Let that be the end of it.

Julia walked over to the window and put her face up to the glass,

cupping her hands to block out the reflection. “I don’t see any lights

on,” she said, then rang the doorbell again. About a minute later,

when they were still standing outside and Dave was about to suggest

heading back to the car, Julia started walking around the house.

134 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES

“I don’t like where this is going,” Dave said when Julia tried to push

open the window she’d glanced into.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to break a window. I’ll only enter if

there’s one open.” She crept past some rosemary bushes and turned

the corner of the house.

“Jules—” Dave started to call out to her that this was not okay,

but thought better of attracting attention by being loud. He followed

behind her, just as she was lifting the kitchen window open.

“Success!” she whisper-yelled.

“Julia, don’t you think you’re overdoing the crazy? Just a bit?”

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” she said, hoisting

herself up on the windowsill, the blinds that were half-drawn bumping

into her head. “We’re just delivering these, and we’re exceptionally

committed to that task. If UPS did the same thing people would be

thrilled.”

“Thrilled to call the cops, maybe.”

Julia stopped halfway through her climb and shot Dave a look over

her shoulder that was at once challenging and kind, and so cute it

might just haunt him for the rest of his life. “David Foster Wallace.

If you’re feeling nervous about getting arrested, all you have to do is

stand by the window and pass me the cupcakes. I promise I will still

love you as only a best friend can.”

Dave crinkled the tinfoil, then walked over to the window as she

continued to climb into Marroney’s kitchen. “That’s never been in

question,” he said, managing a smile.

DAVE 135

CHEMISTRY

THE NEXT DAY, having miraculously avoided getting caught and/

or arrested, Dave was sitting in AP Chem class, sneaking glances at

Gretchen. She was sitting across the room, since Mr. Kahn had split

them up into groups for the last lab of the year before they focused

entirely on studying for the final. Dave had been grouped together

with Doh Young, the smartest kid in class, who would have a much

higher GPA than a 4.0 if only the administration was smart enough

to figure out how to give him the grade he deserved, and so Dave

allowed his mind to wander, knowing that an A was pretty much

guaranteed. He allowed his eyes to wander, too, not just to Gretchen’s

pretty face, but to her little in-class habits that he’d only recently

started paying attention to.

He was starting to remember her outfits, how she looked so great

when wearing her hair a certain way, sexy in