Never Always Sometimes - Adi Alsaid Page 0,28

only pride at Julia’s cleverness. There was

a certain letting go within him, like something inside his chest was

literally relaxing its grip. It was time to appreciate everything about

Julia without fretting about what she couldn’t provide.

Apparently, Marroney didn’t feel the same way. As Julia continued

her performance, Marroney leaned over to whisper something to the

redheaded woman sitting next to him, then grabbed his blazer off the

back of his chair and squeezed past the people in his row, his cheeks

a bright shade of red.

“And if—” She stopped as soon as she saw him leaving the

coffee shop, and immediately her shtick fell away. She dropped the

microphone to her side and bit her bottom lip. “Dammit,” she said.

Then she shrugged and tucked the microphone back into its stand.

96 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES

As she hopped off the stage, the crowd, confused at the abrupt

ending, broke out into scattered applause. “Get that look off your

face, David O’Neal Macbeth. He’ll be mine in the end.”

“You know what, Julia, I don’t doubt it. He’d be a fool not to take

the opportunity.”

Julia laughed, then grabbed her Ecuadorean bag from the back of

the chair she’d been sitting in. “When you say it like that, it actually sounds gross.” Julia slung her bag over her shoulder. “I know it’s a

weeknight but you wanna have a sleepover? Feeling pretty good right

now.”

“Always.”

“Actually gonna Skype with my mom, too. You can say hi.”

“Wow, moving up to Skype dates, huh?”

Julia couldn’t contain her smile. Dave understood more than

anything Julia’s affection for her mom, though as long as he’d known

her that affection had been tinged with disappointment, with longing.

He could see the way it colored everything she did. The Nevers list

had been written with her in mind, he knew, and it was now being

acted out for her. Like a girl at the edge of the pool, refusing to dive in until Mommy looked, Julia wanted her mom’s attention. He would

never say anything like that out loud. But it made him protective of

Julia, of the next disappointment her mom would inevitably deliver.

While Dave had nuggets of bittersweet memories of his own mom to

return to and occasionally talk about with his dad—the day they’d

all gone to the harbor, rented a boat on a whim, the fine white mist

DAVE 97

of the ocean rising up the sides of the boat—Julia had nothing of her

mother to hold close. There was no past life that included her; there

was only the longing for her. It was the only thing she’d ever had.

Later that night, Julia set up her computer on the kitchen island,

chatting excitedly with her mom. Her mom had the same radiant blue

eyes as Julia, and her hair was mostly auburn, with the odd gray hair

shimmering in the light of her Mexico City living room. She wore a

silver ring in her nose, and every now and then a guy would cross the

room behind her, though she didn’t acknowledge his presence. Dave

stood by the fridge, rummaging through mounds of Tupperware,

opening each one, taking a taste, then leaving a Post-it for Tom and

Ethan with his thoughts.

“What’s with the hair, Jules?”

“You like it?” Julia said, tugging a tress down in front of her face.

“I did it ironically. We did Dave’s hair, too, but it turned out not so

well.” She went on to explain the Nevers, all they’d done for it and

all that was still to do. Dave listened, wincing at the naked longing

in Julia’s voice, hoping that Julia’s mom wouldn’t disapprove, because

he didn’t want Julia to lose interest. For whatever reason, without the

Nevers Dave pictured things with Gretchen fizzling out, a return to

normalcy that no longer included anyone outside him and Julia.

“Where are those fathers of yours? I wanna say hi,” Julia’s mother

cut in, without any comment on the Nevers. Dave watched Julia try

to hide the disappointment that, for him, was so clear to see. “I miss

their faces. Plus, I have a little proposition for them.”

“They’re out. They’ve been stressed ’cause of restaurant stuff,

98 NEVER ALWAYS SOMETIMES

so they went out to watch a movie and have ice cream. What’s the

proposition? I’m pretty much the head of the household anyway.”

Julia’s mom’s laugh was throaty; it sounded like a few decades’

worth of cigarette smoke. “Very well, then, head of the household.

I’m thinking about coming to visit.”

“Fuckin’ do it!” Julia said, her mood bouncing back immediately.

Her legs started jittering, as if she were trying to keep the excitement offscreen.

“Nothing’s for sure yet. But I miss the Bay Area and there are some

events on the West Coast this summer that I want to go to. I figured

that, if it was okay