Not that she minded the view.
Breaking the kiss to take a breath, she brushed back the damp thickness of his hair, her thighs spread on either side of his body, his hands warm and possessive below the hem of the T-shirt. "What do you have planned today?" she asked, her heart wrenching at the perfection of this moment where she had the right to touch him, to care for him, to call him her own.
He nipped at her fingers before answering, the wolf playing with her. "I think I'll spend most of the day with Felix and his team."
She couldn't help her instinctive flinch at the memory of exactly how the area being replanted had become so barren, every tiny blade of grass turned to ash.
Hawke's response was to bite sharply at her lower lip. "I told you not to do that."
Scowling, she rubbed at the sting. "I'm allowed to think about what I did."
"What you did was save the lives of your packmates." Tugging her close, he suckled the spot he'd bitten, soothing the momentary hurt. "That's what counts."
"I'm not sorry I did what I did." It had been a choice made in battle, against an enemy that wouldn't stop. No matter how many years she lived, she would never forget the crunching, ugly sound of a hundred guns smashing into the skulls of dazed and wounded SnowDancers. Her act had been the right one at that time, in that place. "It's just…" She'd annihilated the Pure Psy army, killed so many men and women who'd had the misfortune to pick the wrong side.
Her wolf held her gaze. "Talk to me."
So she did. And he listened. He understood. Until she could breathe again, her chest expanding with each inhale. It wasn't the first time they'd spoken of that terrible day, neither would it be the last—but knowing that he'd be there anytime she needed him, it was everything.
"Any other plans for the day?" she asked afterward, fixing his hair because she loved playing with it … and because touching Hawke calmed her on the deepest level, until sometimes, when the memories hit too hard, he simply shifted and allowed her to pet the huge silver-gold wolf that was the other half of his nature, as long as she needed.
"I'll take Harley down with me," he said, arching his neck when she ran her nails over his scalp the way he liked. "It'll give me an opportunity to see how he's developing." Another pleasured growl, his hands flexing against her skin.
Her mate made her so damn glad she was a woman. "Has he stabilized?" The young male was shaping up to be a powerful dominant.
"He's getting there. Boy's got a strong will." He squeezed her thighs with those hands she'd felt on every inch of her body. "Like someone else I know."
"Remember that."
"That's why the wolf pushes you," he said, pressing a kiss to the inside of her knee that made her shiver. "Wolf and man both know you'll push back. It'd be no fun if you were a weakling."
Seduced, she was being utterly seduced by a wolf who knew her far too well. "The thing with the maternal females?" They hadn't had a chance to talk much the previous night, the dinner going later than expected. Given the people around the table, it was unsurprising the talk had turned to the increasing instability of the PsyNet.
Judd had disappeared around ten, heading for a meeting with his contacts, so it was likely he'd have more data to share with Hawke today. After he did, Sienna knew Hawke would make it a point to talk the information over with her—a true alpha pair needed to forge a trust that ran deeper than sensuality, than the mating bond. It had to encompass the very heart of what it took to keep SnowDancer strong. "You survived the meeting at least."
Hawke's groan was eloquent. "I have a headache just thinking about it. Ask me again after sex and I might have the will to talk about it."
She laughed. "Nice to know I'm not the only one scared by Nell."
"Nothing scares me, least of all a woman who is maybe all of a hundred-and-ten pounds and happens to be three years my junior."
"Keep telling yourself that."
Narrowed wolf eyes. "Smart-asses get their comeuppance." Stroking his hands up under the edge of the T-shirt, he ran his thumbs over the sensitive crease of her thighs, smiled a very wolfish smile at the tremor that shook her. "You were quiet when we were discussing the mating ceremony last night."
Playing with the hair at his nape, she bit the inside of her lip. "I wish we'd done it earlier." They'd decided to wait until things calmed a little and all the evacuated children had settled back into the den, but the delay had caused her nerves to fray. "It'll be the first Pack event since…" Since everyone had discovered what she could do, what she was. "Maybe we should do it together with Walker and Lara's ceremony," she said, though she knew it was too late, the celebration only days away.
"Each ceremony is unique and suited to the couple." Hawke bracketed her face in his hands, and she knew he understood what she didn't say. "They want a quieter affair."
And he was alpha, the ceremony celebrating his mating one of the biggest events to be held in the den in recent memory. Every packmate, young and old, wanted to contribute, to be part of the festivities, and Sienna wasn't going to cheat them of that—not even if she wanted to hide in a corner and hope no one would notice her.
Hawke pressed a finger to her lips before she could speak. "I told you, baby, we're wolves." Wild affection, the endearment one he used with her alone. "We respect strength."
"I'm only a soldier." Hierarchy was a critical component of the pack's stability—and their relationship fell outside of it. Never would she give it up, but the impact of it on the pack still worried her at times. "Young and inexperienced."
"It isn't always about age or experience," Hawke said, eyes of husky blue holding her captive. "Maybe you'll have to earn your stripes when it comes to your personal dominance, but you've already got their loyalty—because you gave the pack your own, laid your life on the line to protect. That's what matters."
Curling her arms around his shoulders, she leaned into his embrace. He hugged her close, stroking a big hand down her back. No one in the pack had said or done anything to make her feel unwelcome after the battle, it was true. There had been more than a few smiles thrown her way and the teasing they received as a newly mated couple was merciless, but—"Some people are scared of me," she whispered.