My Year of Saying No - Maxine Morrey Page 0,51

of.’

I opened my mouth to apologise, or explain, or… something, but Seb held up his hand.

‘But this is definitely a case of it’s me not you.’

‘Oh god. That’s never a good thing to hear.’

He leant over and laid a hand over where I was now gripping my own together. Even if I got over the fact that Seb didn’t fancy me, which I’d kind of worked out already as I’d been single for some time now and he’d never attempted to ask me out, I had to admit I’d been holding onto the tiny glimmer of hope that perhaps there might be a spark once he met me in real life.

‘I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.’

‘You could never do that.’

‘It’s just that I know you’re on your Year of Saying No thing and I didn’t want to put you in a position that would make you feel awkward, or us awkward.’

I swallowed and tried not to make that loud gulp noise that always happens when you’re trying to be subtle. ‘I don’t think anything you say could make me feel that way, Seb.’ My voice was soft and my heart had sped up. Maybe I’d got it wrong after all? Maybe—

‘I didn’t really have anything planned this afternoon. Angus has taken Scoobs off on a massive hike and I’d only be sat at home on my own anyway, so I’m happy to come back with you. Gives us a bit longer to hang out too.’

I nodded, the balloon of excitement and ridiculous romanticism deflating with a sad, slightly rude, noise inside my head.

Seb winced, and sat back, turning to the steering wheel. ‘See? This is why I should have just kept quiet. You’ve already spent way more time than you expected with me and, unlike on the phone, you can’t just hang up when you’re bored.’

‘I’ve never done that!’

He glanced over. ‘That is true. And I thank you for that.’

‘And I’d love for us to get to spend a bit longer together.’

‘Lottie, it’s fine,’ he said, putting the car into drive. ‘It’s me. We made a pact ages ago about being polite for politeness sake. Let’s not change that now.’

‘I’m not,’ I said, calmly. Honestly. ‘I would love for you to come back to the garage with me.’

He gave me a sideways, slightly suspicious glance. ‘So why the expression?’

‘I didn’t have an expression.’

‘Yeah. You did.’

‘No, I didn’t. I have indigestion from that cake, that’s all. It was kind of rich.’

Seb was driving, turning us back towards the direction of the last garage. Letting his eyes leave the road for the briefest of moments. ‘I’ve already told you you’re a terrible liar.’

‘And I’ve told you I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

His eyes were back on the road, but I saw the sigh he let out.

‘Honestly, Seb, I’m fine.’

‘OK,’ he nodded, without turning. ‘Let’s go and get this car then.’

I made a noise of agreement but felt the churn in my stomach. I hated lying to him, especially when it was so obvious he knew that I was, but I couldn’t tell him the truth either. Wriggling in my seat, I shifted positions a couple of times, the discomfort in my head once more translating to my body.

Seb slowed as the traffic lights turned red and came to a gentle halt.

‘Hey,’ the word was soft and enquiring.

I looked across and gave a smile that felt a little awkward on my face, like it wasn’t quite in the right position.

Seb studied me for a moment, reached out and laid one large hand over the little knot I’d made of my own. ‘Relax.’

‘I’m relaxed!’ I replied, sounding about as relaxed as a turkey upon hearing a Christmas carol.

His laugh swirled around me and the sound of it helped release some of the tension that had built between us.

‘OK,’ he said again, but with none of the disbelief his previous reply had been laced with. His gaze flicked to the lights before resting back on me. ‘You know you can tell me anything, right?’

My heart gave an unhelpful squeeze. ‘I do.’

‘Good.’ He gave my hands a quick press before returning both his own to the wheel and pulling away.

Anything that is except this.

17

‘I can’t say I’m looking forward to Alice’s baby shower on Saturday. Does that sound mean?’

‘Nope,’ I said, hooking my legs over the arm of the squashy chair I was sitting in, as Jess stretched her legs out along the length of my sofa and leant against Harry, who was tuned