My Year of Saying No - Maxine Morrey Page 0,45

older.’

He nodded. ‘She’d been an Army wife for a long time and she knew the deal, but I’m not sure she ever really got used to it.’

‘Does anyone?’

‘Good question. I know she wasn’t thrilled when I wanted to follow the same path.’

‘But she didn’t stop you?’

‘No, they always knew it was my choice. Thankfully my brother stayed in civvy street so that was one thing less for them to worry about.’

‘If they’re anything like my parents, they’d have worried whatever you did. I think it must be in the job description.’

‘Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she came to the hospital though. She had this brave, positive look on her face, but when I reached out to her, I saw the shattered look in her eyes. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to entirely forgive myself for putting that there.’ He rubbed his leg absent-mindedly. ‘I can’t help but think the stress of me getting injured contributed to her heart attack.’

‘Oh, Seb,’ I said, reaching out and taking his free hand. ‘You can’t think like that. She knew you were doing what you loved and supported you in that. And she got to see you make a great recovery and start up the charity, didn’t she?’

‘She did. But she also got to see the mess I was in before I got my head in the right space.’

‘You can’t blame yourself for any of that. You didn’t ask to be caught up in that IED blast, and she knew that not taking the path you’d chosen would have made you unhappy, which she certainly wouldn’t have wanted.’

He looked down at my hand and laid his other over it before lifting his dark, thick lashed eyes to me. ‘And how did you get to be so wise?’ he asked softly.

There wasn’t an answer I could give that didn’t sound flippant, so I just tightened the hold I had on his hand for a moment in reply instead, before letting go.

We sat on the sofa talking until late, Scooby’s soft snores the only other sound, until Seb glanced at the clock, apologising for keeping me up. I dismissed his apologies, knowing I’d have happily sat there until dawn, listening to him, exchanging ideas and thoughts and laughter, feeling more at ease than I ever thought I would have, bearing in mind it was the first time I’d been in his home and how awkward I’d felt initially about the unexpected sleepover situation.

‘And so polite too,’ he laughed. ‘The perfect guest. You can definitely come again.’

‘Is that a promise?’ I smiled back, perhaps a little bit too emboldened by the nightcap he’d poured us a short time ago.

He stood up and put down a hand to me still sat on the sofa, which I took, allowing myself to be hauled up. Scooby was stretching and yawning, making that high-pitched squeak dogs do when they’ve got a really good yawn going. ‘It most certainly is. Open invitation. I’ll even put it in writing if you like.’

‘Well, you know I like everything organised and easily referenced.’

‘I do indeed. You’re the queen of organisation. That’s why I know I lucked out getting you to take me on as a client.’

My mind, relaxed by the surroundings, the evening and Seb in general, had been happily skipping ahead of me on a path that, as a rule, I’d kept myself off. At Seb’s words, his reminder that, although we were friends, there was also a business element to our relationship, caused my imagination to pull up short, stumbling in its haste to stop. This effort apparently showed on my face.

‘You OK?’ Seb asked, his forehead creasing in concern. ‘You’ve got a funny look on your face.’

‘Thanks,’ I said, a weird laugh escaping as I made an effort to cover any other feeling I was experiencing right then, of which I had a few to pick from, not least of all, lust, which wasn’t awkward at all. ‘Bit of a head rush getting up, that’s all,’ I said, bending down to pick up the glasses from the coffee table.

‘Leave that, I’ll do it.’

‘It’s fine. I think you have other priorities anyway.’ I nodded towards where Scooby was now patiently standing by the patio door and looking hopefully between his master and the back garden, where a patch of grass clearly had his name on it.

I took the glasses through to the kitchen and gave them a quick wash as Seb sent the