My Year of Saying No - Maxine Morrey Page 0,3

arms across his broad chest, the scar on his forearm tracing a pale line through the dark hair, a silvery trail that ended just past his elbow.

‘Yep!’

‘Do I get to hear this magnificent plan?’

‘You do! In fact, you are the very first person I’m telling, so I hope you’re feeling suitably honoured.’

‘Of course. Come on then, don’t keep me in suspense. Out with it.’

‘After a year of going on dates I didn’t want to, terrifying myself doing adventure activities I wouldn’t ordinarily have done if you’d paid me, and shelling out to go on a holiday to see a level of drunkenness and behaviour I couldn’t quite believe instead of a nice, relaxing hotel in some quiet corner of the Med, I am drawing a huge, thick line under it all.’

‘And how exactly are you planning to do that?’

‘Because I am declaring this to be The Year of Saying No!’ Having now put my mug down, I threw my hands out in a dramatic gesture that even Jess would have been proud of.

2

When I looked back at the screen, Seb had an inscrutable expression on his face.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘What?’

‘Your face. Don’t you think it’s a good idea? You’ve spent the last year hearing about every awful date, knee-wobble inducing activity and never ending round of parties when you know that, for the most part, I’d have happily been sat on my sofa in my pyjamas with a good book. Surely you don’t disagree that this is a much, much better idea?’

He made the slightest of gestures with his head, which, frankly, could have meant anything.

‘I take it you do disagree then.’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘You didn’t say anything, but your lack of enthusiasm speaks volumes.’

He shrugged.

‘Right. That makes all the difference.’

He glanced at something out of my vision, then looked back. ‘It just seems like a bit of an extreme reaction. I mean, I know you didn’t enjoy a lot of the things you tried last year, but at least you tried them. You do spend a lot of time on your own. Sometimes it’s good to open yourself up to opportunities, no matter how uncomfortable they might feel to start with.’

‘I’m hardly a hermit.’

Seb gave me a look that suggested he had his doubts about that.

‘I’m not!’

‘You do like staying in.’

‘So?’

‘A lot.’

‘So, I’m not a party animal. There’s nothing wrong with that. Everybody’s different.’

‘Except that now you’re planning to do nothing but work and sit and read for the entire year. I’m just not sure it’s the best plan for you, going forward.’

‘Now you sound like one of your reports.’

A ripple of humour showed in his eyes. ‘I do know a thing or two about mental health. And shutting yourself away doesn’t seem like the best option. That’s all I’m saying.’

‘Who said I was shutting myself away?’

‘You did.’

‘No, I didn’t.’ I shook my head. ‘I just said I was going to say no.’

‘To everything.’

‘No. Only to the things I don’t want to do. I refuse to feel obliged to say yes to things I’d rather not, just because someone else wants to do it, or someone else wants me to do it. I am giving myself permission to say no.’

‘Well, that’s a good thing.’

‘So now you agree? Talk about fickle.’

The serious expression he’d been wearing evaporated and he laughed, deep and melodic, and my treacherous tummy did the flip again. I mentally told it to behave and tried to ignore the wave of newly released butterflies.

‘I’ve been called a lot of things in my time—’

‘That doesn’t surprise me.’

Seb gave me a look that I imagined had silenced many a lower ranked soldier in his time, but I could see the softness around those chocolate brown eyes and gave him a grin in response.

‘So why the change of heart?’

‘I was just concerned you had planned to shut yourself away entirely, that’s all.’

‘Nope. Just no more bloody bungee jumping, rampant, runaway Segways or hideous dates with men who look nothing like their profile picture and then leave me to pick up the bill.’

‘You know not every guy is like that, don’t you?’

‘Once upon a time I might have believed you, but if my experience over the past year is anything to go by, then I’m sorry, but I’d have to disagree.’

‘You do seem to have had some… fun experiences.’

‘Fun isn’t exactly the word I’d use for most of them.’

‘No. I guess not.’

‘And you should have seen some of the messages from the blokes that I didn’t agree to meet up with!’

‘It’s probably