could fix things for her? That in monitoring her moods and her every move, he could make things right? Did he imagine that he could somehow mediate between her and her mother? He couldn’t fix this. Didn’t he see?
‘Why are you so caring, Steve? I mean, don’t you sometimes feel frustrated with all of this?’ She eyed him uncomprehendingly. If he would only vent his frustration occasionally, it might allow her to vent hers. Didn’t he realise that?
‘Yes, I’m frustrated,’ he answered, his tone calm. She saw a flash of humiliation in his eyes, though, and that just made her feel worse. He was doing his best, she knew he was, but she couldn’t deal with being constantly watched, frightened to put a step out of place lest he start believing the lies her mother had been feeding him. She couldn’t breathe. ‘I’m not sure it would help the situation if I gave in to it, though, are you?’
‘Nor does interrogating me help the situation,’ she pointed out tersely.
He massaged his forehead. ‘I wasn’t interrogating you, Laura. You’ve been gone a while and …’ He stopped, emitting another heavy sigh. ‘Your mother came here. About an hour ago.’ He looked warily back at her.
‘Right.’ She felt her jaw clench. ‘And I suppose you invited her in for a cup of tea and another cosy chat about me.’ She eyeballed him accusingly.
Steve held her gaze. ‘In actual fact, I didn’t let her in,’ he said, clearly working now to hold onto his patience. ‘I told her she wasn’t welcome.’
He’d stood up for her? Laura looked at him in surprise.
‘About what you heard us discussing, your mother and me …’
‘My going for therapy.’ She felt herself tense.
‘Don’t you think it might be worth considering?’ he asked. ‘Family therapy, maybe?’
‘What?’ She baulked. He couldn’t be serious, surely?
‘You and me, I mean,’ he clarified quickly. ‘I know you’ve been before, but it might help.’ He shrugged hopefully. ‘It might be useful for me too. At least then I’d know how I could help you, assuming you want me to.’
Laura had no idea what to say. She was being unfair. She knew she was. He wasn’t interrogating her. He didn’t want anything from her other than for her to be healthy and happy, less troubled. He wanted her to be able to confide in him. He wanted to be able to confide in her. To sleep soundly in his bed without having to worry about finding her wandering about in the garden in the dead of night. A normal relationship was what he wanted. How could he ever have that with her?
‘I don’t want to lose you, Laura,’ he said gruffly, ‘but …’ He shrugged and trailed off pointedly.
Laura’s throat tightened as she realised he was issuing her an ultimatum: sort your mess of a life out or else. ‘You don’t want to lose Ollie either,’ she finished, swallowing emotionally. ‘Nor do I.’
Forty-Three
Sarah
Keeping a lookout through the lounge window of her neighbour’s house, Sarah almost cried with relief when she saw Joe arrive.
‘Is he here, Mummy?’ Ollie asked as she turned from the window, his voice tremulous and uncertain.
‘He’s here, sweetheart.’ Sarah helped him from the sofa and took hold of his hand. ‘Thank you,’ she said to Walter, who had kindly taken her in. He was a widower, getting on and a little bit lonely, Sarah guessed. He was always helpful and considerate, keeping a friendly eye on the comings and goings in the neighbourhood. He hadn’t noticed anyone coming and going from her house today, though. Whoever it was had somehow managed to get in unseen.
‘My door’s always open, my lovely,’ he assured her. ‘You can call on me any time if you need to.’ Walking with her to the door, he gave her shoulders a squeeze, which almost caused the tears to spring forth there and then.
Turning to give him a hug, which both surprised and delighted him, she held Ollie’s hand tighter and went to meet Joe, who looked as relieved to see her as she was him.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked, his gaze full of concern as it travelled over her.
She answered with a firm nod. She hadn’t been in control of her emotions on the phone. She’d probably panicked him. ‘Just a bit shocked, that’s all,’ she lied. She was shaking inside. She felt violated, imagining some stranger’s hands touching her personal things, Ollie’s things – that was what had upset her most of all. What kind of