After a blood-freezing moment, he looked up at her. ‘Someone you know?’
Fourteen
Sarah
Up early the next morning, having not slept a wink, Sarah made herself a coffee and then keyed in a text to Joe. Hesitating before sending it, she reread it: I know you think I’m being paranoid, but I’m not, I promise. There’s such a thing as a mother’s instinct, Joe, and mine is screaming at me that something is off. If I can’t talk to you about it, then I’m wondering if we have a future.
Agonising for a second longer, she braced herself and then hit send.
She hadn’t been angry with Steve when they’d split. They’d limped along for a while, but she’d known it was inevitable. They’d grown apart, fallen out of love. She was beginning to feel angry with him now, though, his being so stridently defensive of Laura. How much did he really know about her, at the end of the day?
Checking her phone and finding no reply from Joe, she shrugged, as if it wouldn’t hurt unbearably losing someone she cared deeply about and who she’d thought cared for her, then gathered herself and went back upstairs, careful not to make a sound in case she woke Ollie.
Hearing him already awake and chatting – to one of his toys, presumably – she paused, smiling, outside his bedroom door. She loved listening to how his imagination worked. Part of her hoped he wasn’t talking to Mr Whale, though, who she saw as a bit of an intruder, which she supposed could be deemed neurotic. She hadn’t yet spoken to Ollie about Bunny. She would have to – she needed to establish whether he’d somehow got hold of scissors and cut the ear off – but she wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. He might be distraught if he knew nothing about it. She would fish a little, she decided. Refer casually to Bunny and gauge his reaction.
Talking of fish … She leaned closer to the door. ‘Did Mummy starfish give you some sweeties when you took little starfish home?’ he was saying, his voice filled with awe.
Sarah hadn’t even realised he knew what a starfish was. It had obviously come from Laura. Perhaps they’d had a conversation around Mr Whale’s habitat?
‘Uh-huh,’ Ollie went on, as if he really were having a conversation with someone. An invisible friend, perhaps?
‘When I’m four, I’m going to be a superhero too,’ he continued chattily, ‘and I’m going to help save all the fishes, just like—’ He stopped abruptly as the alarm on Sarah’s phone sounded, almost giving her heart failure – and probably making Ollie jump out of his jim-jams, since she was standing right outside his door.
Pushing the door open, she went in to find him peering worriedly over his duvet, which he’d pulled up to his chin. Poor thing, he obviously had been startled. ‘Hi, munchkin,’ she said, giving him a bright smile. ‘Sorry about that. Mummy woke up early and forgot to turn her phone off. Did it frighten you?’
‘No.’ Ollie shook his head adamantly. ‘Superheroes don’t get frightened,’ he assured her, his little face serious.
‘Course they don’t.’ Sitting on the edge of his bed, Sarah matched his expression with a serious one of her own. ‘Except maybe for the people they’re going to save?’ she suggested.
‘And the fishes. They save them too,’ Ollie added, his big eyes widening with excitement.
‘And the fishes.’ Sarah glanced at him curiously. ‘Who were you talking to?’ she asked, giving his hair a ruffle. A sudden chill prickled her skin as she wondered whether Laura had used the same scissors she’d cut his fringe with to chop his bunny’s ear off.
Ollie immediately glanced down without answering, which was unusual. He was normally such a chatterbox once they got on to the subject of superheroes.
‘Ollie?’ she prompted him.
Still no answer. In fact, shrinking back down under his duvet, he looked reluctant to talk to her.
‘Mummy asked you a question, sweetheart,’ Sarah said softly. ‘Do you not want to tell me?’
Ollie’s eyes flicked to hers. ‘It’s a secret,’ he whispered, dropping his gaze again.
‘Oh, I see.’ She felt a knot of apprehension tighten inside her. Was this yet another secret, despite the conversation she’d had with Laura? If it was the same one Ollie had imagined he should keep before, it seemed to have made much more of an impression on him than being passed a surreptitious extra cookie would. ‘Is it a big secret or a little secret?’ she