it wasn’t my performance, it was definitely about Nico. “Have I…” I faltered. “Have I done something inappropriate?”
He grimaced. “No, but I might have. There isn’t an easy way to say this, so I’m just going to put it out there.”
I held my breath.
“I know about your crush on Nico.”
I groaned and covered my face with my hand. “I’m so sor—”
He touched my forearm. “Don’t be sorry. I actually had a feeling when you were a kid and Nico used to visit. So, I wasn’t surprised when you came out, you know? But now we have a problem.”
I groaned again, and my throat dried. “I know.” I croaked. “Your rule.”
“Yes.” Saint nodded and looked out over the lake before he spoke again.
The waves rippled in the last of the light, and a rising moon cast faint glints onto the surface of the water, and a breeze stirred the leaves of the birch tree on the other side of the yard.
He sighed. “The reason I created the ‘no brothers with friends’ rule was to protect everyone. But you’re adults now.” He looked at me and grinned. “You’ve been adults for a while. Go on.” He waved his hand as if issuing me forward. “The rule is dead. You can all make your own mistakes.”
Huh? For a moment, I simply watched him. Almost like I was waiting for him to lay down the punchline next.
“What do you mean? I mean, your rule has always been so important.” I almost couldn’t arrange my thoughts.
“You know what? It was really more of a guideline. You weren’t supposed to follow it slavishly your whole life long.”
He made it all sound so simple, but he’d been pretty adamant as we grew up.
He glanced at me. “It was never to keep you from being happy or finding who can make you happier. I love you, Jamie. And I also love Nico, but as much as I love him, he’ll only ever be my friend. Not my brother.” He ruffled my hair and I leaned into the touch. “So, I still need to be protective for a second and tell you to be careful. Nico is great. But he doesn’t always make the best decisions or make the best romantic partner. He doesn’t always pick his own best match, either. And he’s a very temporary kind of guy.” He pulled my head to the crook of his shoulder. “You have my blessing to do whatever you want with whoever catches your eye. And if that guy is Nico, go there. Try it out. Just don’t lose yourself in a dream that might hurt you. The guy you had your crush on might not ever have existed, and he might not be that guy now, I guess. It isn’t a choice I can make for you, though.”
I almost pinched myself, but the tears of relief blurring my vision told me I’d heard Saint speak those words. I wasn’t going to lose my job, and he was okay with my crush on Nico. “I love you, too, Saint. But you can be dumb sometimes.”
“Hey,” he growled, barely containing the emotion in his voice. “I’m still your boss, you know. Less of the ‘dumb.’” His sigh ruffled my hair. “If only I could still protect you. But you don’t really need me to anymore.”
A sob caught in my throat, because I’d always need him, but I didn’t have the words to say that. I closed my eyes against the bittersweet tears, and Saint patted my shoulder like he knew the words I hadn’t spoken.
“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” he murmured.
“I promise.”
I’d just let my eyes drift shut when he said, “I’ll kick his ass if he ever hurts you.”
And I smiled, still surrounded by my brother’s protection.
Eventually, he jostled me. “Wake up, sleepyhead. Mom will think we skipped out if we don’t head back.”
“Shit. Did you promise them coffee?” I sat upright and glanced through the kitchen window.
Dusk had truly settled, and inside the house glowed as lamps shone in the various rooms.
“No worries. I think I heard Grady clattering around in there a while back. We’re lucky they haven’t turned out all the lights and gone to bed, I guess.”
I stood up. “Let’s head back in.” Something felt different. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“You look happy, Jamie.” Leo greeted me from where he hadn’t moved an inch at the table.
That was it. That was the reason I felt different. It wasn’t something extra—something was missing. Without