My Big Fat Low-Fat Wedding - By Katya Starkey Page 0,84
It’s my treat. I think we all need to relax for a bit.”
And just like that he’s back to being my hero once again. My darling fiancé has just saved me from faecal disaster for the second time in one week. The first time may have involved cow faeces instead of my own human shit, but who cares? I’m just glad I won’t be dealing with shit from the backend of any species today.
Chapter 19
Over the past few weeks everything has been sorted for our wedding. I finally got the dress I wanted, even though it might not be the dress of my dreams. It’s not like I can back out of wearing it now anyway, Lara is sorting the exact alterations with her own two hands. She promised me she won’t be leaving any of the sewing tasks to her robot.
Today is lovely and sunny and I’m hoping the weather holds out over the next couple of days. Callum and I aren’t having an outdoor wedding, or anything like that, but no one wants it to rain on their wedding day, even if it is indoors.
“Now, isn’t this relaxing?” My fiancé surprises me with quite a forceful kiss on the cheek.
“Careful!” Steadying the paper plate I’m holding, I avoid dropping it onto the grass all together. “I’m not going to be very relaxed if you spill potato salad all over my new garden dress.”
“And what a stunning dress it is.” Callum kisses me more gently on my cheek this time. “You could wear that dress to the wedding and you’d still be the shining star of the day.”
I’d whack my fiancé on the arm for even suggesting I wear a picnic dress to my own wedding, but my hands are full of food and drink at the moment. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit.”
We’re at the CoTechnic open day picnic. It’s the one day per year when the science institute opens its doors to family and friends of its employees. Well, I say ‘open doors’ when I mean ‘open gates’. CoTechnic is a top former military scientific research facility. It has north, east, west and south security check points and only one of them is ‘open’ today. Everyone had to enter through the south gate to much trafficy frustrations.
Now that we’re here though, I really am starting to relax. Getting things sorted for the wedding have really done my head in lately.
“Oh look, there’s Lara. Let’s sit over there by her.” Callum and I wander over with plates and plastic cups of beer in hand. Lara is sat on a low brick wall munching on her food.
She looks up at us as we approach. There’s a terrible scowl on her face and I swear I see her eyes flash with tears briefly. “Oh my god, Emily.” Lara chokes down her bite of food and jumps to her feet. “Umm, I was just leaving.”
“You what?” I glance at Callum, surprised. He shrugs his shoulders. “But surely you just got here—”
“Yes but I… I need to finish your dress alterations.” Lara grumbles, looks at the ground and stomps away.
I can do nothing but gaze after her in astonishment. She’s been acting weird lately, but this just takes the biscuit. “I swear that girl is avoiding me.”
Callum and I take her empty space on the low wall. Other families with their children are milling about while some are sat on the grass eating. My fiancé snorts after taking a bite of food. “I’m sure Lara is just a bit nervous about getting her best friend’s dress just right, honey.”
Callum has a good point. I mean, it’s not like she would actually be trying to avoid me so close to my big day. I laugh quietly to myself. I don’t know why I’m so paranoid, it probably has something to do with the fact that I’ll be participating in the most profound moment of my life thus far, in two days’ time.
After we finish eating and downing our beers, I wander off on my own while Callum has a chat with some work colleagues.
“Bomb her!” I hear a child scream and I look up.
Sitting on top of an old military tank that’s been transformed into a statue, is a boy of about ten years in age.
“Watch out lady!” A younger girl who’s probably age eight, pops her head round the back of the de-commissioned tank.
It’s too late though. I now realise I’m standing in the worst possible place. I’ve walked into a trap