My Almost Ex (The Greene Family #2) - Piper Rayne Page 0,77
do I tell this to Adam? Explain why I left? Explain that there’s a good chance he’ll never get the large family he always wanted?
The years of my parents’ own fertility problems come to mind. My mom’s roller coaster of emotions every time she went to the doctor. The false hope that this time might be it. The cost of treatments that put them in debt. My dad never being home because he was working three jobs to try to pay for the treatments. The vision of my mom’s back bruised on both sides as my dad tried to find a spot to poke her again. I close my eyes, understanding why the old Lucy ran. But I’m not sure why she didn’t talk to Adam about it.
I need my fucking journal.
I go into the closet and thumb through my journals. But I’ve read everything and there wasn’t anything about us trying to have a baby. Why would Dr. Ramirez even test me for it? After an hour, I come up empty once again. I wish I knew what I had been thinking that day. Why I would leave the only man who could get me through the devastating news?
For the first time in a long time, all I want to do is bury myself in the bed and wish this was just a nightmare.
I message Adam that I won’t be fixing dinner and he makes a joke about it being my time of the month. I strip down and put on my pajamas before sliding into bed.
“Luce,” Adam says, the weight of his body dipping the mattress. “You feeling okay?” He places the back of his hand on my forehead.
I turn toward him. He’s got his work shirt off, leaving him in his gray undershirt. I stare at him, reaching for him.
“What is it? You need some pain meds? I stopped at the store. Got you what you used to use and a new heating pad since I may have thrown away your old one.” He winces.
“Thanks.”
Then he opens his arms for me to crawl into and holds my head to his chest, my legs sliding between his.
“How was work?” I ask.
“Ah, the guy I’m training needs some common sense training, but uneventful.”
I sigh and tighten my arms around him, tears coming fast and hard. I’m unable to control them. How did the old me ever pretend everything was okay?
“Whoa.” He dips his head back, but I nuzzle my head harder into his chest and he holds me tighter. “It’s okay. What’s wrong? Was there a near-miss with Grandma Ethel and Dori? I knew I should’ve called in.”
I shake my head and pull back, rising up on my knees.
He lies on the bed, one hand grasping mine as though he’s afraid I’m going to run away. Which, oddly enough, never even came to mind this time around.
“You’re scaring me,” he says, his voice rough.
“Adam, did we ever discuss having kids?”
He maneuvers our hands so that he’s winding his fingers with mine. I already know the answer before he says, “Sure. We were married.”
“No, I mean closer to the time I left. Were we trying?”
He sits up quickly. “Did you remember something?” The excitement on his face makes me feel terrible.
I shake my head. “No.”
He looks away for a moment. “Well, we wanted them. Especially after Cora got pregnant with Brody. You know how it is, the teenage fantasy of having your kids grow up with our best friends’ kids. You went off the pill a few months before you left, but I mean, we weren’t disappointed when you’d get your period or anything. We weren’t taking temperatures and you weren’t putting your legs over your head like you see in movies.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.”
He sits with his back to the headboard and grabs my hands. “You have something to tell me. I can tell.”
I nod and tears break free once more.
“Oh, Luce, you know I’m here for you.”
I wait until my breathing evens out and figure I just need to get it all out in the open. What happens, happens. “I found out why I walked out on you today.”
His eyes widen. “So you did remember?”
I shake my head and he tilts his, understandably confused.
“Turns out that around the time I left, I was seeing Dr. Ramirez and I had some tests done which I’m assuming was behind your back.” I swipe my tears away with the back of my hand. “I found out today that I can’t have