And maybe my anger for the way everything had been handled wasn’t as easy for me to get over as I’d hoped. I didn’t blame Hawk. He was one of the best men as well as soldiers that I’d ever known, but his inability to bring people in, share what the hell he was planning had cost us a friend.
Stop blaming anyone else.
I closed my eyes briefly, realizing my inner voice was right. I was coming apart at the seams.
“Maybe it’s the dog you found,” he said quietly.
“Maybe so.”
“If you ask me, I think you need to keep him.”
I laughed, although the sound seemed bitter. “That’s what Danni said.”
“Been thinking about getting a pup for Ashley. It would be good for you. You’ve been holed up since you got here. Maybe Danni and the dog came into your life for a reason.” His grin was even wider than before.
“Okay. Okay,” I said, backing away. “The last thing I need is a matchmaker.”
“Be careful because Bryce has been hot under the collar to set you up with one of her girlfriends.” Every ounce of tension had left his body.
“Um. No. No. No.”
“Hmmm… Maybe you’re already taken.”
I waved him off, heading toward the front door, trying to ignore his comment. Although a part of me wouldn’t mind having someone in my life.
What the hell was I saying? I had nothing to offer anyone.
Not even the lovely filly who embroiled every one of my senses.
“I’ve missed having a dog.”
I walked alongside Snake as he strolled the base, keeping his eye on the still scrawny dog. “Never owned a dog.”
“Well, given you were such a fuck-up, I can understand why.” Laughing, Snake took a long stride away, holding up his arms.
“Come here so I can beat your ass.”
“That’s what I’m talking about, buddy. You were always getting into fights.”
“Yeah? Well, someone had to defend your scrawny ass,” I shot back.
Snake kept the grin on his face before crouching down and whistling. Apollo came running, his tail shifting back and forth at ninety miles an hour. As he rubbed the dog’s head and ears, making cooing sounds, I wondered what it would be like to have a buddy.
“The one thing about animals, other than their unconditional love, is that they are very sensitive. They can read you better than any human. My boy, Rocky, was like that. He was a Golden Retriever. He never left my side. I never told anyone, but I mourned him after enlisting for months. Hell, I guess I still do today.”
“What happened to him?”
Snake nuzzled against the pup’s head, taking his time to answer. “Mom told me that he never stopped suffering after I left. One day, she found him on my bed. He’d died in the middle of the night. He was only six. Six years old.”
I sighed as I held the phone in my hand, finally dialing her number. I’d forgotten all about the conversation two days before the mission that would ultimately end his life, or maybe it was simply another one I’d wanted to block out of my mind.
“Hi there. Are you checking up on me?” Danni asked, a lilt in her voice, which shocked the hell out of me.
“I’m checking up on the dog, actually. You? Nah.”
“Men,” she snarked before chuckling. “The dog without a name is doing just fine. You want to hear something special?”
“I’m afraid to ask what that might be.”
“Yeah, you should be afraid,” she purred.
There was dead silence for a few seconds. Then I heard a few barks. They sounded happy.
“Hey, boy. Say hi. Can you say hello?”
I heard her voice as she obviously held out the phone. When the dog became more animated, barking and whining, another pang tore at my heart. Jesus.
“Okay, baby. You need to rest now,” she said in a cooing voice.
As the sound grew less and less, I eased against the fence. I’d made the rounds and had been unable to stop thinking about either one of them the entire time. Hawk’s words had stuck in my mind more than I would have thought.
“So, have you decided on a name yet, because if you haven’t, I’m thinking about calling him Bob,” Danni said in an off-the-cuff manner.
“Bob? He is not a Bob. That reeks of accountant or dullness or something.”
After bursting into laughter, she issued a tsking sound. “Then what’s his name, cowboy?”
I closed my eyes, my thoughts shifting to Snake. What the hell. “Rattler.”