The Music of What Happens - Bill Konigsberg Page 0,96
to the side of the pool and grabs his iced tea and takes a swig. “Jordan is nice,” he says.
It’s actually the first real comment either of them has made about him, and I’ve been wondering if I should take that as a sign.
“Yeah?” I ask.
“Yeah. His poem was good,” Zay-Rod says.
“He’s okay. He hangs out with hot girls,” Betts says. “That’s like the one good thing about gay dudes. They bring the chicks. Except present company, I guess.”
I jump off my noodle, pounce on the side of his raft, and flip it. Betts comes up splashing, and then holds his breath, swims around me like a menacing shark, and then goes under me and lifts me up onto his shoulders. As he stands, I raise my hand in the air like I’m a rodeo cowboy. He stays up for a few seconds, then dunks and lets go of my calves. I swim away.
I sit on this little alcove seat in the deep end, and I savor the feeling of the broiling sun on my shoulders.
“So I gotta tell you something,” I say.
Zay-Rod says, “You pregnant, dude?”
Betts says, “Nah, Max is the guy.”
And for once, I say, “Cut that shit out. Seriously.”
“What?” Betts asks.
“That. That one of us is a girl and one is a boy. That’s fuckin’ bullshit. We’re both guys. That’s what gay is. Two guys.”
“Okay,” Betts says, jumping back up on his raft. “Sorry. Didn’t know that bugged you.”
“It doesn’t,” I say, half lying. “It’s just. When you always give me shit and nothing is ever serious, it gets old. Also I have no idea if you’re being serious.”
Zay-Rod says, “That’s what we do. That’s what you do too, dude.”
“Well, yeah. But maybe we could be serious once in a while too?”
It’s quiet for a bit, and my heart sinks. I count on the Amigos. So much. I don’t want to lose them. I’m about to take it back when Betts says, “Sometimes it bugs me that you guys think I’m stupid.”
“Wow. Look at the time,” I say.
He laughs a little. “Nice.”
“Kidding,” I say. “I don’t really think you’re stupid.”
Zay-Rod says, “Me neither. I mean, you’re not an intellectual and you don’t like a lot of book stuff. But you’re smart in other ways. You’re good at math. You come up with good jokes and shit.”
Betts keeps quiet for a bit, and then he says, “Thanks.”
“I got raped,” I blurt.
The pool goes quiet. Betts and Zay-Rod both sit up and look at me. The look is one of, Tell me you’re joking. I slightly shake my head.
“Jordan?” Betts asks softly.
I shake my head again.
“What happened?” Zay-Rod asks.
I feel weird, talking about this in a pool. I glance over at the turquoise Adirondack chairs where my mom and Jordan took me a few nights ago. I leave my seat and swim over to the steps. They follow, and we shake excess water off as we exit the pool. The tile around the pool burns our feet as we walk over and sit down in the plastic chairs.
“What happened?” Zay-Rod repeats.
I need to take a moment to look both my buddies in the eye. This is something we’ve never done before, and I need to know they can take it. They both hold my eye contact — first Zay-Rod, then Betts. So I take a deep breath, then another, then another. And then I tell them everything.
“Shit, dude,” Betts says.
“You okay?” Zay-Rod asks.
I shake my head. “Not really. I mean, yeah, I’ll be okay. But I have lots of nightmares, and when Jordan touched me around that area, I freaked the fuck out.”
Betts stands, walks over, and makes like he’s going to sit on my lap. I laugh, because I just told him I got raped and what’s the first thing he does? Invade my space. “Plastic chair, dude,” I say.
He stands and he lifts me up by my shoulders, and he hugs me tight.
“I’m sorry, dude.”
Zay-Rod joins our little huddle. It is, sex included, the most intimate moment of my life. They hold me tight, and I just close my eyes and breathe, thinking how glad I am they’re my buddies, and wondering why I was ever afraid to tell them.
Zay-Rod asks, “Does Rosa know?”
I say, “Yeah.”
He adds, “Jordan?”
I nod.
“Can I kill that dude?” Betts asks.
“Yeah,” I say. I quickly correct. “No, actually. Jordan already punched him.”
Zay-Rod pulls back. His eyes are shocked. “Seriously?”
“It was … surprising. At that coffee shop Cartel on University? Not the best punch