The Music of What Happens - Bill Konigsberg Page 0,91
to me.”
His hand is wrapped pretty tight with ACE bandages. Not broken, he explains. It might impact his cooking for a week or so, but we’re not gonna be cooking much this week anyway, since the truck is still in the shop.
“I want to get you in to see a counselor who deals with sexual assault,” Rosa says.
Max shrugs. “We’ll see.”
“No ‘we’ll see’ about it,” she says. “Required.”
“Maybe,” he says.
Rosa shakes her head. “I’d say you got that from your dad, but maybe that’s just a man thing? I remember your uncle Guillermo did the same thing when I tried to get him to see a counselor. What is it with you men and not talking?”
Max turns to me like I’ll be on his side. I am on his side. Just not about this. “I think it’s a good idea,” I say. “You punched a pool tile. A perfectly innocent pool tile.”
This makes him laugh a bit. Then he stops laughing. “Can I be real?”
“Yes,” Rosa and I say, simultaneously.
“Half of me doesn’t believe I was raped. Like, I get about consent and all, but I was … I don’t know.” He runs his hands through his hair.
“Were what?” Rosa asks.
“I can’t do this,” he says, his voice exhausted. “Talk about this.”
“Mijo? You have to. Really. Me and your beautiful friend back there? We’re gonna be on you to talk about it.”
He sighs, exasperated. “Can it be rape if you didn’t hate every second of it, while it was happening?”
His mom takes his hand and wraps her small hand around it. “Absolutely, mijo. It must be confusing. I think that’s very normal.”
“I don’t know,” Max says.
“Did you say no?”
He nods.
“Did you at any point say anything that changed your answer?”
He shakes his head.
“You see, that’s not okay. Doesn’t matter if you’re a boy. Or you’re bigger. That’s not okay. Hear me?”
He nods again, and soon I can see from the side his face cringing again, and I hear him sniffling, and I lean forward and put my arms around him from behind.
“I’m so glad you told us,” I blurt out. “That’s really awesome. It makes me like you more, okay? That you would tell us. That’s like really strong.”
I hear him take a deep breath. And then he says, “Fine. Whatever. Can I just say for the record, though, that I’m done being vulnerable for the day? I hate it so much.”
Rosa puts her hand on his shoulder and squeezes.
“Good luck with that. The world will make you vulnerable. If you’re acting like you’re not, that’s what you’re doing. Acting.”
It’s later that morning and I’m in my room. I pick up my phone.
Me: U there
Kevin: Hey what up, u left in a hurry the other day, figured you hated me
Me: Just confused but I’m getting over it. Wanna meet?
Kevin: Maybe
Me: C’mon Wanna see you again
Kevin: Your like bipoler
Me: Lol am not
Kevin: Are so. Just come here?
Me: Cartel
Kevin: U want coffee or u wanna hook up?
Me: Lol both
Kevin: Okay whatever an hour?
Me: See you then
It’s not that easy to get my mom and Jordan off my back. Jordan has stayed around, just hanging out with us, which is nice but I’m really truly done talking about my feelings. I could tell he saw a window open up and he liked it, but let’s be real. That window isn’t gonna stay open. I’m Max, and that’s not me.
“I just wanna take a drive,” I say.
My mom frowns. “Why don’t you stick close to home today?”
“I need some air. Maybe go to the gym?”
“I’ll come,” Jordan says.
“I dunno,” I say.
Jordan and my mom share a look.
“Can I just have like five minutes to myself please? An hour, tops.”
“I’m worried about you,” Rosa says.
“Me too,” Jordan says.
I come over and stand between them and put a hand on each of their forearms. “Trust me. I’m okay.”
Mom finally relents, and as I go to my room to get ready, she asks Jordan to stick around for a second. I can’t help but feel a little pissed off. A guy doesn’t want pity and to be treated like a baby. Doesn’t matter what happened to me. Treat me like the guy I was before you knew, right?
I park at Cartel, my heart pounding. I need to deal with this my own way, and yeah, I know it’s in public. But I’m doing it in public because in private I’m afraid I might hurt the guy. I gotta use my words and just say what